The Covenant Eyes Podcast

Unlocking Freedom: Women's 21-Day Journey with Covenant Eyes

Covenant Eyes / Beth Davis & Lisa Eldred Season 3 Episode 39

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Introducing Arise for Women! 

It's a 21-day journey with Covenant Eyes where women unlock freedom from pornography. This program is designed to support women struggling with porn and help them find the freedom they deserve.

https://covenanteyes.com/arise21


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Hey everybody, welcome back to the Covenant Eyes podcast, Karen Potter here. I am really excited for you to be joining us for this episode. We are about to unveil a new program that will be coming out this fall, and you get the first behind the scenes kind of look at the program. The program is called Arise, and it is a 21 day recovery program for women. And you are going to get to meet the creators of this program. We're going to talk about, the filming that just took place out in Arizona when we put it all together on screen and just kind of get a glimpse into what's coming out this fall. We are really stoked about this here coming. It is. It is going to be a blessing to so many women across this nation. So stay tuned to the Covenant Eyes podcast. You are not going to want to miss this episode. We're so glad to have you join us. This is going to be a great interview. We all just kind of got back from Arizona. Hopefully we're all feeling a little bit rested up. That was an intense week, but a beautiful week. And gosh, I can't wait to talk a little bit about this exciting new program, arise, which comes out this fall. I don't know about you guys, but I'm totally stoked about this program. Yeah, stay and be back with you. Glad to have you, Beth. So with that, for our listeners out there, they've heard us kind of mentioned that something is coming this fall. We've mentioned Arise a couple of times. Let's talk about what is Arise. Give us a backstory on what it is, Lisa, and just talk to us a little bit about, what our, our viewers and our listeners can expect when this comes out in September. Arise is is an educational program for women. it is a 21 day video series. And yeah, it really brings together kids really of expertise and working on pornography. we've been working in educational content since I think the blog started in 2008. Our first e-book was published in 2010 or 2011. so we've been really focusing on just understanding that, like porn recovery, our software can only get you so far. but it's really you need to know and understand what is going on in your life and like, what brought you to this point, like, why is your body responding through pornography? So we've been working on this for a long time. so bringing in all sorts of outside expertise to really up our game. one of the fun things for me is that historically, we've, we've tried for eight things gender neutral to really include and accommodate for the fact that we know that women struggle. and, you know, I struggle. So, like, Beth will probably share a little bit of her story. I think you shared her story on the podcast before, you know, this is like women have been struggling for a while, but we didn't really understand for a long time what is different about how women struggle? and so we've really upped our game in that over the last couple of years. We did research, Crystal to No Day. And I partnered, to do a study a couple of years ago, that resulted in the e-book New Fruit. And now we're bringing that to an even wider audience through this video program. This is really something that's been honestly in progress for 15 years or so now. since we started working in educational research. I think people need to know the history behind that, Lisa. And, you know, it's something that there's a lot of women that work here at Covenant Eyes, and it's been a passion for a lot of us to see this come to the table. And so to actually be able to witness that in, in real life, like that was like the most amazing experience I think I've had at Covenant Eyes. Just watching all of the dreams and the hopes that so many of us have had for years to provide a program for women specifically for us that addresses our unique needs. It was quite it was quite an incredible experience. Thank you for sharing that. And, Beth, you know, just to give our listeners a little preview, you were kind of the personality in this program. You share your story, but can you walk our our listeners through what excites you about this program and why you got involved in it? Yeah. Thanks, Karen. It was really just an act of God, if I'm totally honest with you, because my own story, I struggled with pornography and masturbation. I was exposed at a really young age and didn't have a lot of resources, didn't understand the recovery process. I had none of that language. I had very few tools and suffered in silence for a very long time. And then the Lord changed my life. He became the center of my life, and I fell in love with Jesus Christ. And little by little he began to set me free until I was totally delivered. And, even in that process of what I would now call recovery back, God was already starting to open up opportunities for me to talk about it. And every time I, I was met by other women who had similar experiences. And so as I began to bring this struggle to the light, light was shed in other people's lives as well. And I began to to see, okay, this is not isolated. This is actually not rare. It's pretty common. And so there was more courage for me and really more urgency even present. The good news that you can be freed from pornography. You can experience healing in your sexuality, in disordered sexuality, healing of images in your imagination and fantasy. Your innocence can be restored. This is who God is. And so for the past few years, I've been just sharing my testimony, really, of what God did for me and and seeing him do it again and again in other women's lives, in my work through a women's ministry called Blessed Is She. And it was this growing desire for me to do something on a larger scale, not to just have these one on one conversations. And I even brought it to our team and said, you know, we just need to offer something. I want to I want to talk about pornography, not as an example, but I want to like, bring it together. This is the point of why we're getting together as opposed to, you know, I'm sharing this thing and just giving pornography as an example of a struggle. I want to look at head on and speak hope to these women who a lot like me are very weary in this process and was trying to break free, and, and right shortly after I brought that to our team, I approached by your team and yeah, it just felt very much like like the Lord that he had really put that desire in my heart. Not for the women's ministry I serve, although I'm excited to share that with our community. but he had something more in mind. Oh. That's excellent. I do want to ask both of you a question. Lisa, I'll start with you. Can what if you boil down what really most excites you about this resource? I mean, that's kind of talked about this, but it's been one of those resources where you just really see God at work. You know, Beth told her story of the timing for her getting involved in the project, and how that was kind of a God thing for me. Bethany collaborated on the scripts, which is one of the reasons I'm here right now. But as I was working through the scripts, you know, we there's a program called strive, that Matt Fred acted in a similar role as Beth is for Arise. and so we started out with the outline from strides, in crafting this. And so I was going through and it and like looking at the content, saying, okay, what's unique to women. Like, what do we keep, what do we get rid of? and there was one day where it was basically a, okay, you know, how do you move on? What like how do you put on the new self sort of thing? Well, I was in like my small group at the time at church was going through the book of Ephesians. And like literally the night before I was supposed to write that day, we're sitting there going through Ephesians four and they're talking about like, you know, here are all of the things that you need to take off the old self and put on the new self. And I'm just sitting there like, this is perfect. This is exactly 100% like what I need to write. and just kind of like when, like it was the Lord's timing there. And I feel like there's probably a ton of, like, small examples of that that I can give in this whole process. You know, again, I've been working with the educational resources that come into nice for a long time. and they all have their own unique stories of like, how God is at work. but this one just really seeing that this is like God's timing and God pulling the team together is pretty incredible. Oh, that's excellent. That's a great place to start for sure. Beth, you shared a little bit already. Let me turn this a little bit regarding the women that are going to use this. What kind of excites you the most with this? with this resource? Yeah. As Lisa mentioned, we had worked on the scripts together, and Lisa had brought so much knowledge and compassion to those scripts, and then it was really such a gift to be able to kind of inject my own stories and, and really ways that that God has walked with me and worked with me through, through. So I would say, even though I was looking at those scripts for weeks and editing them, we were just so zoomed in on the page that when we recorded that week, I thought I felt there's a real potency to this program. So for me, I think the thing that is the most exciting is that here are, as Lisa mentioned, in Years of Wisdom. Yeah, it's, self-awareness and recovery tools and techniques and scripture and the power of God. And the. Power of personal testimony, all kind of packaged in one sweet 21 day program. So it there's a potency to, just looking at this thing that for so many of us, has just, it's weighed us down, and you kind of want to pretend it's not there until it is there, and then it's all you can think about, but you just want it to go away and be quiet and go back in the dark again. This finally feels like, okay, now I have language. Now I have a friend. Now I have some understanding and a way forward. So I think the program just offers so much. But in a really, potent way in a 21 day package that's so accessible and, it gentle really, in a way, you're so right. I think that's one of the things, the compassion and the love for the women that are going to go through this program is so evident, and people will have their chance to see this soon. But I'm just witnessing the creation of this and seeing you pour your story and sharing. That was it was beautiful. And Lisa, you did such an amazing job. You know, helping to shape this with Beth, it was just it was powerful. I think for a lot of us, it can be really hard to share our personal testimonies. And for women that struggle with sexual brokenness or pornography, you know, it can feel like we are so alone. And it's really difficult sometimes to connect it to other people and open up about this, because being vulnerable is never easy. And then when it deals with something that's, you know, sexual brokenness or pornography use, it can be doubly, I think, as hard. So in this program, I think the thing that I found most powerful, Beth, was that you shared your personal story. Can you talk to our listeners a little bit about what they can expect from that? how you're going to take them on a journey and how this will help them uncover their own stories and hopefully find some hope and some healing along the way? Yeah, I think I just want to acknowledge what you said about how much courage it takes to to share this area of struggle with someone. And, so I'm just I'm really happy to be able to say to any of you women who are listening, I'll go first. I went first. Here's my story of what God did that you know, when the Lord delivered me, we just my life was so changed that I told the Lord, I will never not talk about this. I will tell anyone, anytime, in as much detail as you prompt me to Lord, because I just think there is such a painful poverty of hope when it comes to sexual sin. And so if I can, if I can just shout it from the rooftops, but Jesus saves and God heals and there is life after pornography, I want to do that. Yeah, the program walks so thoughtfully through not only what it is, but why and how. It just gives such a beautiful, compassionate, again understanding of the way your body works, even like chemical reactions. And and also just takes into account, theologically, the way that we were made, the way our sexuality was designed to work. And really, I think, challenges what some of us have come to believe that our sexuality is bad or wrong and just needs to be managed. We just need our behaviors to change. And instead this really invites us into real renewal of the mind. There's an invitation to discover the beauty of your body, the beauty of your sexuality. Not to be afraid of that, but that there can be right ordering of desire. So it walks through really all of these different scenarios. It comes at it from every aspect. What was really important to me in approaching the program was to deal with pornography in a holistic way that God desires to heal and to set free not only physically, not only in the material, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And so there are devoted to to each of those areas, taking into account the fullness of your experience rather than just what I think many of us have tried to do, like shame ourselves into submission, into being so good. Did you want to add anything to that, Lisa, based on your kind of, you know, sharing your story too, because you poured your heart and soul into the scripting, and I know a lot of your own journey has been shared in that as well. Yeah. I mean, the thing that comes to mind is it's all about I think it's I could, I could be misquoting who it is, but I think it was either Nate Larkin and or Mike Lahey who talks about the gift of going second and basically being the first one to say, hey, I deal with that and how often it's how it's easier to, then for some for other people to say, I deal with that too. But yeah, my own story is embedded in there in subtle ways. You know, as a writer, like, one of the things that I try and do is like address generalities to the specifics. because storytelling is more engaging. There are. So there are a lot of specifics that are examples in my own life. I can't name any off the top of my head. But like there were times when we're sitting there listening to Beth, I read these things and I was just like, oh, I was just a that's something that was relevant to me last night or whatever. but yeah, it's, you know, and I think that's part of the potency of the program is it's like, this isn't just like someone sitting in an ivory tower writing or something like that, which I've joked about how I want to do, like that person is sitting there, like producing content, but it's really like this is from lived experience to that just really helps women understand. Okay, I see how she dealt with this. I see what this story was. Yeah. One of the other funny things too is like, I won't sure show, I won't share details. But Beth came and spoke with the coven, and I came back in April and shared her story and a little bit more depth. And there were literal things that she shared about her story that it was like, you know, one thing was the color of the carpet. And I was like, the room where I dealt with some of this most deeply was literally that exact same color of carpet. And so I suspect that for a lot of women, it's actually going to be probably similar. Like, not everything is going to be the exact same, of course, but it's going to be one of those, like, that's the subject. That was part of my story too. So that's great. Let me change gears a little bit here. I want to talk about the church. because as we know it, why is it harder for women to really find help in healing, you know, from pornography in the church? Why don't you want to tackle that first? So there's a couple of things going on. One is just, there was this myth going on for a long time that women don't struggle with visual issues outright a myth. one is that, like research said, now, some of this might just be honesty, but in 2016 we worked with Josh McDowell Ministries in Barna to commission a study called The Porn Phenomenon. And we found that 27% of women over age 25, admitted to struggling with pornography, at least occasionally, like intentionally seeking it out. One interesting thing to note about that is like the key thing of 2016 and over to age 25. Now, if you pay any attention to generations, that basically means that it was millennial women and older. Well, we've got new, tier. Desire actually partnered with Barna to update that study. I don't think we're allowed to share the stats. I do have it, but basically it includes gen Z women, like women who are like raised on technology. that number is a lot higher now. that's about what I'll say there. and yet, because they're working on these old gender stereotypes of, well, women don't struggle with porn, it's a man's thing. They just don't address it. Don't have a framework to address it. in 2020 of that study, the Crystal Renault De and I did like we found, I think it was only 7% of women in these worlds, like women who said, hey, I have a problem with porn. Only 7% of them said they had ever heard pornography addressed as a women's issue from the pulpit. and, I mean, you can look at numbers two, where it's like a lot of pastors are just afraid to address this issue from the pulpit in general. So, yeah, that's a whole bunch of stats there of it's just a hard issue for churches to address in general, and they just don't have a framework. And so having some and then in some spheres you have this like I don't want to call it an anti counseling bias. But kind of this Jesus should be in office is probably a better way of putting it. And so just creating a resource that brings together body, mind and spirit that says, okay, this is like how like sin is literally embodied issue, like your brain. I mean, it's the same as drug addiction in a lot of ways. Your brain is literally like rewiring itself every single time you view porn. Like it is not a simple thing of I mean, sometimes Jesus does step in and miraculously heal, but most of the time he doesn't. That's why they're called miracles, right? but you also need so but you need to address it not just as an issue, but as a health issue. and this kind of brings that together, in one resource to help pastors. They don't necessarily have to themselves to be an expert, but they can say, okay, we know someone who is an expert and they can address this issue together. Sorry, I feel like I'm a writer, not a speaker. No, no, that was great. There's a lot in there. But, you're so, so right on. Beth, do you have any any thoughts you want to add to that? Maybe. I mean, I was very well, sadly sad. I, I'm not sure that it's in my purview to diagnose the church. I think I come from a, Catholic background. So my context of church is Mass on Sunday, which would be multi-generational event, whereas I know in some Protestant churches you would send children out to their own, like youth or children's services. So I think generally, homilies like our Sunday sermon would be pretty broad. And gosh, if I can just like have compassion on pastors, like there's a lot to communicate once a week, you know? so for me, my experience of of being really met and, encouraged and counseled happened in confession so that the different contexts for me. But I think where I can maybe similarly relate would be, not only growing up in youth ministry, but also then being a youth minister for 11 years and yeah, when you're splitting up, particularly teenagers as a teen myself and then as a youth minister, I'm hearing two very different messages about sexual from from boys to girls. So I think in some ways there's, probably just an awkwardness to the same reason that so many of our parents felt ill equipped to talk to us about sex. some of those ideas, some of that awkwardness, you know, is in the church as well. How do older people talk to younger people about sex? So we're still, I think, kind of shaking off. yeah. That way of not relating. That makes a ton of sense. And I think you're spot on. And that's probably one of the reasons I'm most excited for this program to be released, because so many of our pastors and priests on both the Catholic and the non-Catholic church side, they have been seeking ways to support women because they are hearing more and more women coming and asking for help and direction, and they don't know necessarily where to point them to get good resources. And so this program will be an amazing tool that is going to be available to both churches, which is amazing. It's we have a Catholic version and a non-Catholic version so that it's accessible to all the Christians. And that's what really excites me, because when you don't know, you know, you look to someone who has wisdom and knowledge and can help. And Covenant Eyes is kind of that partner who's going to come alongside these churches and support them with this free resource. And that that just really brings me a lot of hope, because there's a lot of women out there that really are looking for some answers, and I think this could really be a good first step for a lot of them. Speaking of like the filming, but what were some experiences and moments we can share with our listeners just to kind of prime them for this amazing resource that's coming out? One thing that was fun was, you know, I'm I've been so deeply embedded in the scripts for so long, right? But, just sitting there and like, especially like that very first script, that very first day, like, you know, Beth went through, we were like, you know, performed, read. I don't even know what you want to call it, but that did it. And like at the end, like, everyone in the room was just like, wow. Like the video production people were like, I kind of want to cry right now. And it was just so touching there. So yeah, that was probably script wise otherwise. I mean, this was one of those god smile moments for me personally through this entire thing, for being Phoenix in June, I did not expect there to be as much screen as there was that week, but there was one day where, I have this personal obsession with rainbows, like for a variety of reasons, you know, it's just one of those, like, there's a concept of like, God smiles or God winks. And so, like, one of the nights it was just, you know, it was pouring out and then it stopped. And I'm kind of glancing out the light and out the back of the Airbnb and like, we all piled out into the backyard and just looked up and there was this gorgeous rainbow that was asking over it. It was just so like it was one of those just like, yes, this is God at work in this sort of thing. I mean, yeah, theologically that that doesn't necessarily hold out the right. Like, you know, yes, I know the story of Noah, like, but it was just one of those things of like, you know, God using these, this natural process to kind of like speak and confirm in my own life. That was just one of those fun things. Well, yeah, I would just say love. That was such a beautiful personal grace for you, Lisa. But there is something universal in that. I mean, what does a rainbow represent? That God doesn't abandon his people? That there's hope that he's faithful, that he keeps his promises. And so I think that was the perfect sign for I think that was our first day of filming was just such an encouragement that God is faithful to what he says he's going to do and faithful to who he is, and that there is hope and a promise of healing and restoration. yeah. I think for me personally, it was just the whole process was a little bit surreal. I don't know if you gals felt this way too, but I found myself at the end of it, just kind of because I was local and you were so gracious to come to me, but I found myself, like a little disoriented afterwards. Like I've just gone and done this, like, really intense thing that's a fulfillment of a dream and really, like consolidated, like succinctly communicated everything that I've learned and like the power and the beauty of what God's done in my life and and now, now everyone that saw that he did that with me is gone. And I'm going back to work. It was just like a. Bizarre kind of thing, which really, I think just speaks to, the power of it. So it felt like this very sacred, set apart week. and for me personally, a real fulfillment. I'm kind of I'm lost in a moment, actually thinking I just took a picture of the very first day as I was like, sitting out at our little set. I had a desk the first day, sat behind a table, and and it's just this moment of thinking, these are these moments are so rare. But like something that was so painful in my life that I have wrestled with and reckoned with suddenly makes a lot of sense. And I, I just had a, immense gratitude to to God, first of all, and, and to you to come in and to be a part of that, to be a part of my continued story of of restoration. And really, I would say resurrection. Good. And you see all of this kind of just coming together and how God was using all of this. And I think another thing that was kind of beautiful was that the crew, you know, you know, mostly was women that were there and it was it was really incredible to see each person kind of bringing their own story or their own shared passion for this to the table. I, I remember Rachel just putting her heart and soul into every detail of the things that we don't really pay attention to, but the book on the shelf or, you know, the the vase that was on the table and everything had a perfect place. And it was just everybody put everything they had into this. So it was really powerful. And I'm just I was so grateful to witness this. That was that triggered one other thing. I don't know. At one point, you talked about possibly having Rachel, who was one of our graphic designers and the one who, like, design the Iris logo. But, you know, you might have her on the podcast at some point and she might tell this story, but I'm going to share it anyway. But one of those fun God things. So the logo incorporates this concept of a bird, and it's based on a story that, like Beth told us of like kind of despair and we retell it in her eyes of basically like this bird that is tied to, like a park bench and kind of a thread by thread, breaking it so that the bird can one day, like, just finally be free and fly away. And so the very first day, Rachel and Katie, who was also on set, who was, basically product, the project manager, like they went to HomeGoods to pick up some props and stuff, and they came back and they were just so excited and geeking out because they found this bird that was like a similar color and almost the exact same swoop as the logo. And just watching them sneak that into every single shot and was just it was fun, you know, that was another one of those like, I think that was a God moment for them especially. That's amazing. Sounds like you guys had a wonderful time out there. I just want to say real quick, just Beth and Lisa, thank you so much for all your work on this. I know it was a big team and a lot of work went into it, but I know the two of you and just listening to you today, you've poured your heart, your soul into this and you've relied on God to really direct this and guide this, and this resource is going to do so much good for women. And so again and again, I just want to thank you for all that you've done in. This is definitely covered in a lot of prayer. Yes. It was absolutely. Well, with that, we're going to bring today's episode to a close. And we just want to remind our listeners that this program will be out in September of 2024. We are really excited to be sharing this with you. So stay tuned, because as we get closer to the date, you're going to learn more about arise and you're going to be able to get access to, a landing page where you can sign up to stay notified. And then of course, when it launches, you'll be part of the launch party with us. And we're just really excited to have you all along for this journey. Lisa Beth, thank you again for coming into the cabinet podcast and sharing your beautiful stories and your experiences from the creation of the Arise program. It's been a pleasure having you come join us, and it's so good to see you again and we all just spent so much time together. But it wasn't nearly enough to get to know you better. So thank you. Thank you friends. My pleasure. All right. With that, Rob, you want to bring us home and close our episode out? Yeah. We're excited to to have you watch this. please pass it on. There's going to be a whole lot more coming out about Arise so you'll hear more soon. But, thanks for joining us today. And, we'll see you on the next episode.

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