The Covenant Eyes Podcast
The Covenant Eyes Podcast—your weekly go-to for faith-driven wisdom and tools to thrive in the digital world! Dive into overcoming porn addiction, navigating tech with a biblical lens, understanding the neuroscience of unwanted sexual behavior, healing from betrayal trauma, and protecting kids online. With bold stories, expert insights, and practical tips, we feature clinical experts, Christian leaders, influential faith voices, and relatable everyday heroes. Our guests deliver proven strategies to quit pornography, shield your children from digital dangers, and live with integrity in a tech-saturated age. Ready for a breakthrough? Tune in for hope, inspiring recovery journeys, and actionable steps to ignite your fresh start. Subscribe now—your victory over pornography addiction and digital struggles starts here!
The Covenant Eyes Podcast
10 Ways Pornography is Slowly Destroying Your Life that MOST People Don't Know About, Interview with Pastor Allen Parr
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Join Karen and Brandon as they interview Pastor Allen Parr about the 10 ways pornography is destroying your life. Allen G. Parr Jr. is a licensed and ordained minister, has been teaching the Bible for 25 years, and is a graduate from Dallas Theological Seminary with a Master of Theology degree. He is the founder of The BEAT, an online Bible teaching ministry that reaches thousands of weekly viewers worldwide. In this episode we will discuss:
- Erectile Dysfunction, low sex drive, trouble reaching orgasm
- Lower desire for your spouse, greater likelihood of divorce, find partners less sexually attractive
- Destroy our spiritual life
- Porn lowers self-esteem (thing it promotes is the very thing that keeps us from achieving)
- Lowers spouse's self esteem
- Can make you a bad lover...affection, intimacy, communication, foreplay
- Contributes to sex-trafficking industry... modern day slavery
- Reduces the value of women, viewers become calloused to movements of sex-trafficking industry
- Wastes a lot of time
- Negatively affects the brain... be extra stimulated, extra sensitive to anything behind what is healthy and desensitivity to abnormal things, brain becomes dependent
Resources/More Information:
Private Community: https://www.letsequip.com/community/
YouTube - https://youtube.com/thebeatagp
Instagram - https://instagram.com/allengparr
Website - https://allenparr.com
Try Covenant Eyes FREE for 30 days: www.covenanteyes.com (Promo Code: ALLENPARR)
Try Covenant Eyes for FREE today!
Use Promo Code: FreePodcast
© 2024 Covenant Eyes, All Rights Reserved
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: Hello everyone and welcome to the Covenant eyes podcast I am your host Karen potter joined today by brandon Clark, how are you brandon.
2
00:00:12.990 --> 00:00:14.549
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: i'm doing great how are you Karen.
3
00:00:14.910 --> 00:00:23.250
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: i'm doing fabulous i'm super psyched about today's interview so for all of our listeners, we have a really amazing guest
00:00:50.850 --> 00:01:01.740
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah you know what's really interesting about this topic is, we know that there's a major problem with pornography right, we know that there are many different effects but.
8
00:01:02.340 --> 00:01:06.450
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: I think there's so many effects that we don't even realize how many effects, there are.
9
00:01:06.780 --> 00:01:15.600
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And what's funny is, as I look at this topic and preparing for this topic I got to thinking about this detox i'm on i'm on this 21 day detox where.
10
00:01:15.930 --> 00:01:25.500
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: You know i'm just trying to clean out my system kind of do a little bit of a reset and what i'm seeing is that there was a lot more actually going on in my body than I ever thought.
11
00:01:26.010 --> 00:01:35.730
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: But by drinking water more water than I ever have in my life and eating right, you know, things are starting to normalize things are starting to work as they should.
12
00:01:36.090 --> 00:01:46.950
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And I think that's what we're going to get into and our topic today Karen is that pornography is bogging down so much of our mind so much of our even how our body works.
13
00:01:47.310 --> 00:01:54.420
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: that we really have to be able to get it out and so hopefully by talking about these ways that pornography is destroying our lives.
14
00:01:54.630 --> 00:02:09.090
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: it'll open up our listeners eyes a little bit and even heart, so that they can continue to walk in freedom, if they've started that journey or realize that hey man this business got it and you know and begin that journey to freedom, so i'm really excited about this.
15
00:02:10.260 --> 00:02:18.240
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: Well, with that, then I think we should roll right into introducing today's guest pastor Alan par Thank you so much for joining us today how are you.
16
00:02:18.720 --> 00:02:23.070
Allen Parr: I am doing wonderful so excited and honored to be with you all today.
17
00:02:24.120 --> 00:02:32.730
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Yes, so great to have you pastor Alan we love your videos, we know that you just recorded a video with a former porn actress.
18
00:02:33.180 --> 00:02:42.240
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Brittany de la Mora and so that's doing really well we just love the way that you highlight the problem with pornography, because I think it's something that.
19
00:02:42.810 --> 00:02:48.000
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Not a lot of pastors now a lot of churches leaders are willing to talk about as boldly as you are.
20
00:02:48.900 --> 00:02:55.470
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: But it does need to be spoken about boldly so thank you so much for being willing to be on that mission on track.
21
00:02:55.890 --> 00:03:04.380
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: and helping those who are struggling through the different things that you do you know, one of the topics that I briefly mentioned here is that there are some subtle ways.
22
00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:11.280
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: That pornography destroys our lives, and I think in our time together today let's walk through those and have a discussion about them.
23
00:03:11.580 --> 00:03:24.480
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Because there's some that might you know perk up the ears, a little bit like really It really is that is that a thing, yes, it really is so, can you just tell our listeners a little bit about yourself as we begin today.
24
00:03:25.290 --> 00:03:26.520
Allen Parr: yeah sure thing so.
25
00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:45.780
Allen Parr: Alan par and have a wonderful wife, his name is Jennifer we have two wonderful little kids four and five year old and i've served at several different capacities in the local church over the years, as of right now we are just volunteering at a local church, but.
26
00:03:46.800 --> 00:03:54.330
Allen Parr: i've served as a worship pastor educational Christian education pastor youth i've done some children's ministry i've done a lot of different things.
27
00:03:54.690 --> 00:04:09.060
Allen Parr: But right now, the primary way that I use my gifts is through on online ministry, which is called the beat so YouTube channel, as well as speaking at different conferences and churches and things like that so that's pretty much what keeps me busy these.
28
00:04:09.060 --> 00:04:21.630
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: Days that's awesome so you used to be a worship pastor that is kind of a cool fun fact because I actually really enjoyed your video that you did about worship, music and your experience they've going to a church and just the different things.
29
00:04:21.870 --> 00:04:31.200
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: If you have not checked out that video for all of our listeners check out his channel, because he has got some great videos on topics like worship, music and so much more.
30
00:04:33.540 --> 00:04:43.560
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah so you know pastor Alan let's dive right in let's start at the top of the list, what what is one way that pornography is destroying our life that we might not know about.
31
00:04:44.370 --> 00:04:50.520
Allen Parr: Well okay we're going to just jump right into into the deep waters here i'm not going to even start with the shallow stuff.
32
00:04:51.120 --> 00:05:00.180
Allen Parr: So one of the ways, one of the things that is plaguing a lot of men and what's interesting is that.
33
00:05:00.900 --> 00:05:13.470
Allen Parr: This used to be an issue that normally only surfaced in older men in their early to mid 40s I hesitate to say older because i'm 46 so.
34
00:05:13.800 --> 00:05:17.790
Allen Parr: guys that are middle aged right and it's this idea of erectile dysfunction.
35
00:05:18.180 --> 00:05:26.820
Allen Parr: And you know it's one of those things where people just would say, well, the body starting to slow down, but things are changing testosterone levels are lower.
36
00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:36.960
Allen Parr: But what they have discovered recently, is that there is a significant increase in a reptile dysfunction issues with younger men.
37
00:05:37.380 --> 00:05:46.950
Allen Parr: Right men that are in their late teens and early 20s, which is totally unheard of right, and so, as I started digging into this a little bit more they realized that.
38
00:05:47.280 --> 00:05:55.920
Allen Parr: A common theme among young men that are dealing with erectile dysfunction is that they were also consuming a lot of pornography as well.
39
00:05:56.310 --> 00:06:07.920
Allen Parr: And so, through a lot of studies, they realize that Okay, why is this happening, well, as we know, pornography it trains your brain to to only.
40
00:06:08.520 --> 00:06:12.240
Allen Parr: signal to other parts of your body to be aroused when.
41
00:06:12.540 --> 00:06:27.600
Allen Parr: You experience something new, something novel something fresh something exciting something crazy and bizarre something like beast reality for god's sake, something something outlandish right and so when you're consuming a lot of pornography.
42
00:06:28.200 --> 00:06:36.180
Allen Parr: It basically trains you to only get excited only going to rouse whenever you see all this craziness going on.
43
00:06:36.810 --> 00:06:45.360
Allen Parr: Now if that's the way it works on your brain and then you try to connect with let's say you're married or let's say you're not married and you're trying to have.
44
00:06:46.080 --> 00:06:52.860
Allen Parr: intimacy with someone there's a huge drop off between what your brain has been trained to be.
45
00:06:53.340 --> 00:07:03.720
Allen Parr: To get you going and get you excited and what you're actually experiencing with that particular person and particularly if you're married if it's the same person, obviously, which is should be over and over again.
46
00:07:04.050 --> 00:07:10.860
Allen Parr: Then the the newness and the novelty and the excitement is oftentimes not necessarily.
47
00:07:11.400 --> 00:07:22.050
Allen Parr: Where maybe it used to be, but it hasn't it's nowhere close to what that person would see on a screen and as a result, their body is just not responding to.
48
00:07:23.010 --> 00:07:34.170
Allen Parr: The natural stimulus that God intended because pornography is work their brain and so what's interesting is there's a lot of men who are thinking that they need to solve this problem.
49
00:07:34.410 --> 00:07:46.320
Allen Parr: Through taking pills like Viagra and cialis and i'm not saying there's not a place for that, but really a lot of times, it could very well be more of a spiritual issue than a than a medical issue.
50
00:07:48.960 --> 00:07:58.230
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: it's really, really good information and for our listeners covenant eyes actually has a book that is free on our website that talks more about ED and some of the.
51
00:07:58.680 --> 00:08:10.440
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: neuroscience and things that studies that have been done to correlate that pornography, use and erectile dysfunction so definitely would encourage our listeners to check that out if you're looking for more information pastor Alan.
52
00:08:10.860 --> 00:08:22.350
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: In your in your kind of top 10 things that video that you provided for us on that talks a little bit about how pornography impacts us you mentioned how it affects our spiritual walk.
53
00:08:23.010 --> 00:08:30.180
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: Would you mind diving into that a little bit and just talk through how it impacts our spiritual walk in our close close relationship with God.
54
00:08:31.020 --> 00:08:37.920
Allen Parr: yeah so you know when we get saved, we are in dwelt by the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit.
55
00:08:38.550 --> 00:08:48.570
Allen Parr: And one of the roles of the Holy Spirit is to convict us right and the more we follow God, the more conviction, we experience.
56
00:08:49.410 --> 00:08:55.740
Allen Parr: As a matter of fact, I heard someone say it like this, whenever we get saved, we see the sins that look like stones.
57
00:08:56.010 --> 00:09:02.010
Allen Parr: But whenever we start to grow and be sanctified we start to see the sins and look like sand right.
58
00:09:02.190 --> 00:09:11.550
Allen Parr: And so, when we get when we get saved all we see is all the big stuff okay I didn't commit adultery I didn't do this I didn't sleep with somebody or whatever, but the more we grow.
59
00:09:11.880 --> 00:09:18.060
Allen Parr: We get more convicted about little things I should have apologized this person Oh, I had a I was coveting this person's.
60
00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:26.910
Allen Parr: Life or the things that they have or whatnot and that's basically what happens is you know, whenever we start to fill our minds with pornography or just.
61
00:09:27.630 --> 00:09:46.950
Allen Parr: lusting over someone you know we experienced the power of conviction and the Holy Spirit is only doing his job he's doing what what he is supposed to do and so that conviction isn't there to to allow us to feel good and comfortable we it oftentimes comes with.
62
00:09:48.090 --> 00:09:55.110
Allen Parr: A level of sadness remorse heaviness and a feeling of that i've just pleased God.
63
00:09:55.470 --> 00:10:05.880
Allen Parr: And it's a sense of okay i'm living a hypocritical life if people only knew what I was doing they wouldn't take me seriously or so therefore I can't really share my faith.
64
00:10:06.150 --> 00:10:13.200
Allen Parr: I can't lift my hands and worship, I can't pray because, why would God answer my prayer after I just looked at this and.
65
00:10:13.620 --> 00:10:18.630
Allen Parr: I can't use my spiritual gifts in church or outside of church because hey i'm a hypocrite.
66
00:10:18.930 --> 00:10:29.820
Allen Parr: Now, all those none of those things are true God will accept us, we can pray we can fast, we can do all those things, immediately after we confess, but if there's a natural feeling within us of.
67
00:10:30.390 --> 00:10:38.550
Allen Parr: Oh, I feel distant from God, I feel separated from God and David even talks about this after his sin with bathsheba in psalm 32.
68
00:10:38.760 --> 00:10:46.050
Allen Parr: where he confesses his adultery and he talks about you know, for when I kept silent my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
69
00:10:46.320 --> 00:11:04.050
Allen Parr: For day and night your hand was heavy upon me so there's that idea of heaviness right my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer and so on and so forth, so it really impacts our spiritual life whenever we whenever we sin, but particularly whenever we're consuming pornography.
70
00:11:04.950 --> 00:11:14.580
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: pastor Ellen as you were talking It reminded me of a study that Dr Perry from the University of Oklahoma released, maybe a couple years ago that showed.
71
00:11:15.270 --> 00:11:24.210
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: How our pornography us actually like it lessens our ability to and want and desire to volunteer in our churches and get engaged it.
72
00:11:24.510 --> 00:11:32.370
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: It keeps us from getting into god's word and he had a statistical study that showed this data and how it's impacting us so.
73
00:11:32.790 --> 00:11:45.030
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: I really think that that is something that, as Christians, we really need to think about that as we engage in pornography use it is preventing us from that closeness because of the shame the guilt.
74
00:11:45.660 --> 00:11:51.990
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: You also talk a little bit about how it lowers our self esteem Would you mind talking a little bit about that as well.
75
00:11:52.560 --> 00:11:54.630
Allen Parr: yeah yeah so you know.
76
00:11:56.040 --> 00:12:18.120
Allen Parr: As we know, and hopefully if you don't know you're going to know now, but you know pornography pornography porn actors, they are paid actors right, and so they get paid to to act and to to make everything appear real it's it's a it's a it's a fake intimacy it's it's the devil's fake.
77
00:12:19.320 --> 00:12:29.010
Allen Parr: Counterfeit of god's beautiful gift of sex that should be enjoyed and celebrated within the confines of a godly marriage right and so.
78
00:12:29.700 --> 00:12:39.060
Allen Parr: Naturally, when we consume pornography, we are going to make comparisons right we're going to compare.
79
00:12:40.020 --> 00:12:53.430
Allen Parr: ourselves to other people, and so, if I am watching pornography and i'm seeing a guy who maybe he is well endowed and he is in the one percentile of the world right.
80
00:12:53.880 --> 00:13:04.230
Allen Parr: we're going to think or pornography is going to train you to think that you have to be able to have you have to be built a certain way.
81
00:13:04.950 --> 00:13:09.450
Allen Parr: In order to please, a woman and if you're not naturally built a certain way.
82
00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:16.650
Allen Parr: Then you don't have what it takes in order to truly please, a woman, because this guy is built a certain way.
83
00:13:16.890 --> 00:13:29.100
Allen Parr: And he's able to make this woman make all these sounds and do all these crazy things but because i'm not necessarily naturally built that way, then, after all, i'm not probably going to be able to do that and.
84
00:13:29.610 --> 00:13:36.150
Allen Parr: No woman is going to really true i'm not going to truly be able to please, a woman sexually right along those same lines.
85
00:13:36.870 --> 00:13:48.450
Allen Parr: Along the same lines, you know the the way it's shot could communicate that these men are maintaining an erection forever for hours and hours at a time.
86
00:13:48.780 --> 00:13:53.730
Allen Parr: When the reality is that they are injecting themselves with you know shots.
87
00:13:54.360 --> 00:14:04.260
Allen Parr: they're taking you know ED medication to maintain that erection over a long period of time and so there's a lot that's just not natural about it.
88
00:14:04.560 --> 00:14:12.720
Allen Parr: Now that that that's The first way that it can affect our self esteem, but it can also affect our spouses self esteem as well.
89
00:14:13.050 --> 00:14:26.790
Allen Parr: Because if we bring that into the bedroom then we're naturally going to start to place expectations on our spouse to live up to what we see on the screen and when he or she is not able to.
90
00:14:27.330 --> 00:14:42.540
Allen Parr: to fulfill what we what they anticipate we expect from them they're going to naturally feel a sense of i'm not good enough i'm not worthy i'm not able to please him and and that's going to create a significant lack of self esteem.
91
00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:48.090
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And that's really then where all those wounds come in that's where the betrayal trauma comes in and that's just.
92
00:14:49.500 --> 00:15:00.210
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: A hornet's nest of things to have to deal with in in addition to working through leaving pornography behind you know the marriage if it sneaks into marriage it's just not a.
93
00:15:00.990 --> 00:15:14.340
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: it's not a fun time to have to heal from that and I know from experience, you know, one of the biggest things here that I think we need to talk about and spend some time talking about is the contribution to sex trafficking.
94
00:15:15.690 --> 00:15:22.800
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And you know it's interesting because it it really just goes back to who we are pastor Alan his beloved sons and beloved daughters and.
95
00:15:23.280 --> 00:15:33.330
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: It takes the person and and who they are, and makes them a product right so so when we look at pornography we're just consumers using a product and we're objectifying women.
96
00:15:33.780 --> 00:15:46.650
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: which ultimately then leads to this contribution to sex trafficking, can you talk a little bit about that, because one one of the things you had it even in the video was a quote by a woman who is in the industry who talks about it being modern day slavery.
97
00:15:47.970 --> 00:16:00.690
Allen Parr: yeah and for those of you listening that quote is you know one former porn actress testified women are Lord in coerced and forced to do sex acts they never agreed to do.
98
00:16:01.170 --> 00:16:13.860
Allen Parr: And given drugs and alcohol to help them get through hardcore scenes the porn industry is modern day slavery so once again it's all a deception.
99
00:16:14.220 --> 00:16:21.780
Allen Parr: You know, there is a percentage i'm not exactly quite sure what that percentage is, but there is a percentage of women that on the screen you think.
100
00:16:22.200 --> 00:16:34.770
Allen Parr: That they are enjoying all this you think that they're having a good time and it's feeling so good for them, and all this stuff but the reality is that there is a percentage of women who.
101
00:16:35.100 --> 00:16:40.620
Allen Parr: are being pimped and they're being used they're being abused and they have been trafficked by.
102
00:16:41.190 --> 00:16:58.380
Allen Parr: By evil men normally and much of the what much of what they're doing is right it's a pretty much all of it is against what they want to do they're being forced to do these things, and so by consuming this content online.
103
00:16:59.730 --> 00:17:09.810
Allen Parr: It essentially further supports the indirectly further supports the idea of sex trafficking, because we are consuming it.
104
00:17:10.890 --> 00:17:14.490
Allen Parr: Which means that we are responsible for.
105
00:17:15.690 --> 00:17:19.380
Allen Parr: You know, whatever advertisements are used or however they make their money.
106
00:17:20.070 --> 00:17:39.690
Allen Parr: You know by us consuming it, we are in some indirect way supporting this and, like you said we're not seeing this woman as an image bearer of God right she is an image bearer she's built and created in the image of God, no, we see or just a sex object someone who exists to please me.
107
00:17:41.070 --> 00:17:45.570
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And I think another thing to sorry Karen I just want to hop on that one more time.
108
00:17:46.290 --> 00:17:57.150
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: You know another thing too is because we become more callous right to all of these things and we're seeing in in studies coming out that pornography is becoming more and more violent.
109
00:17:57.540 --> 00:18:06.960
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And so, ultimately that's just heading down a dangerous road and maybe you can speak to this for just a SEC of as pornography becomes more violent and that's the stuff we're taking in.
110
00:18:07.500 --> 00:18:16.590
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: You know, it really it's going to lead to more problems in our culture with violence, especially you think about marriage, maybe even domestic problems.
111
00:18:17.520 --> 00:18:23.610
Allen Parr: Yes, you know i've said this several times, but you know Satan loves to tempt us with sexual boredom.
112
00:18:24.090 --> 00:18:28.770
Allen Parr: Right and that's just how he always operates, you know if you're just lusting.
113
00:18:29.070 --> 00:18:33.870
Allen Parr: Then he's gonna you're getting bored with that so he's going to want to tempt you to masturbate and then, when you masturbate.
114
00:18:34.080 --> 00:18:39.900
Allen Parr: you're eventually going to get tired of that, and so, then you might start looking at pornography and then you start looking at pornography.
115
00:18:40.230 --> 00:18:46.110
Allen Parr: And then you're like okay i'm tired of looking at it, I actually want to do this, and so, then you start fornication you start committing adultery.
116
00:18:46.350 --> 00:18:50.760
Allen Parr: And you start living these things out and you start seeing some of these crazy things that are going on whether it's.
117
00:18:51.030 --> 00:18:57.240
Allen Parr: threesomes or you know weird things that are going on the scene and you get bored with where you're at.
118
00:18:57.570 --> 00:19:04.020
Allen Parr: And you ultimately want more and more and more, and because pornography there's always something new, something novel something fresh something more.
119
00:19:04.530 --> 00:19:20.040
Allen Parr: It just continues that cycle and that's the reason why they have to continue in the pornography industry to make things even crazier right like 10 men with one woman or whatever like they have to find these ways to make it crazier to keep people engaged creep keep that.
120
00:19:21.420 --> 00:19:28.740
Allen Parr: That you know all of that don't mean and stuff like that in the brain and stuff like that so with the physical stuff.
121
00:19:29.790 --> 00:19:42.630
Allen Parr: You know, it once again it's not enough to show to you know people having sex now, it has to be rough has to be hardcore because they have to keep pushing the envelope keep pushing the edge to keep people coming back.
122
00:19:44.370 --> 00:19:49.650
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: I think another thing too with the industry is that with pornography being online now there's sites that.
123
00:19:49.710 --> 00:20:03.030
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: are actually funneling child pornography, so you don't know, even if the pornography you're viewing is a consenting and I use that lightly an adult a lot of those are videos that are posted online without permission.
124
00:20:03.390 --> 00:20:11.220
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: They are taken on there, you know young people who are coerced into doing these acts, so I think you just bring up a really good point about that.
125
00:20:11.850 --> 00:20:16.380
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: In your video you had a quote, that really kind of stuck out to me is profound and you said.
126
00:20:16.860 --> 00:20:26.820
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: You say when the pain of your sin becomes greater than the pleasure of your sin you stop your sin, and I just thought that was really, really profound because.
127
00:20:27.330 --> 00:20:36.720
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: You know, as we talk about pornography and how it's impacting us in all these different ways at the end of the day when we're ready to take that next step, it really is a choice that we have to make right.
128
00:20:37.020 --> 00:20:48.960
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: We have to acknowledge our sin and take the next step, do you have any advice for people that might be listening to this podcast that are like wow i'm experiencing these things and i'm ready to take a step what's The next step.
129
00:20:49.560 --> 00:21:00.510
Allen Parr: yeah well you know and it's interesting because you know we're always looking for like a quick fix or you know, give me three ways to do this or five ways to do that, you know and we're looking for these.
130
00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:08.010
Allen Parr: These you know ways to get over certain things, and while there is some value and some merit, to all those things.
131
00:21:08.460 --> 00:21:13.410
Allen Parr: What I believe it comes down to as a matter of the heart right at some point.
132
00:21:13.770 --> 00:21:22.170
Allen Parr: I could tell you to do this or do that and get get Internet filtering and covenant eyes, which I think you should do I have it, I always recommend it.
133
00:21:22.350 --> 00:21:32.550
Allen Parr: But the reality is that you know people can delete the APP from their phone and then they can watch it, you know so so you know the reality is that when the pain of your sin.
134
00:21:33.240 --> 00:21:39.960
Allen Parr: outweighs the pleasure, you get from a when you start to take an inventory right of what is this thing doing to me.
135
00:21:40.560 --> 00:21:52.170
Allen Parr: How is it impacting my spiritual life, how is it impacting my ministry if you're in ministry, how is it impacting my marriage, how is it impacting the intimacy in my marriage with my spouse.
136
00:21:52.500 --> 00:22:02.550
Allen Parr: How is it impacting my mental state my financial state my time because i'm wasting time consuming this stuff for an hour two hours a day when I could be more productive.
137
00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:13.230
Allen Parr: You know how could it possibly be affecting my reputation if people find out all of these things you take an inventory and when that pain gets so great.
138
00:22:13.650 --> 00:22:18.480
Allen Parr: To where you're like Okay, you know what this pain is greater than whatever little thrill or pleasure, I get from it.
139
00:22:18.840 --> 00:22:24.840
Allen Parr: I believe it's that point that people will actually take it seriously and stop and, at the end of the day, like you said Karen it's a decision.
140
00:22:25.350 --> 00:22:28.410
Allen Parr: And it's a decision that you'll probably have to make and here's my best advice.
141
00:22:29.370 --> 00:22:33.090
Allen Parr: I don't think this is something that you're going to get over or overcome.
142
00:22:33.390 --> 00:22:39.930
Allen Parr: And in Christianity, we love to just think oh i've been delivered i've set free you know all this and that and okay that may be a place for that.
143
00:22:40.200 --> 00:22:48.990
Allen Parr: But honestly Paul said in the Bible, he has to die daily he dies daily to his flashlight so there's this isn't going to be a daily decision.
144
00:22:49.470 --> 00:23:01.470
Allen Parr: That you're gonna have to lay before the the the feet of Christ and say you know what I made it today praise God Okay, let me celebrate that and then the next day you take it day by day.
145
00:23:02.430 --> 00:23:11.370
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: Such good advice and wisdom there as well, pastor Alan How is it that you are so bold, to talk about this topic, and yet we see.
146
00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:26.070
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: From the statistics that only like 7% of churches are you know, creating programs to address pornography and the churches, how is it that you have this boldness to talk about this and how do we get other pastors and leaders to join in.
147
00:23:26.610 --> 00:23:32.100
Allen Parr: yeah well that's one of the reasons why i'm not a senior pastor of a church and I have a YouTube channel.
148
00:23:33.030 --> 00:23:48.450
Allen Parr: Because I love the freedom that comes along with YouTube right I don't have to censor I don't have to submit my lesson plans and you are my mother, when my sermon preparation to someone else I can speak to what.
149
00:23:49.260 --> 00:23:54.960
Allen Parr: What I believe this generation really needs and and also I you know i'm.
150
00:23:55.560 --> 00:24:03.930
Allen Parr: In the thick of it, I know what people are searching for that I get so many emails so many direct messages so many comments on my videos were men.
151
00:24:04.500 --> 00:24:15.870
Allen Parr: You know, and women that are struggling with this, and so it it warrants me to to create this content and try to help people and I just feel like.
152
00:24:16.260 --> 00:24:22.110
Allen Parr: I have a heart for people, I think that the end of the day, that's what it comes down to I have a heart for people who are genuinely struggling.
153
00:24:22.530 --> 00:24:26.610
Allen Parr: With these things, because I know personally the freedom that comes from.
154
00:24:26.970 --> 00:24:33.720
Allen Parr: Having a clean conscience right the New Testament talks about the beauty of having a clean conscience and a pure heart.
155
00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:44.400
Allen Parr: Right and it's so beautiful it's so refreshing when you can get up in the morning, and you can have your time with God, you can go throughout the day you're not bombarded with lust and all these different things.
156
00:24:44.670 --> 00:24:50.070
Allen Parr: And, and you can really operate in the gifts and power that God has for you.
157
00:24:50.340 --> 00:25:00.300
Allen Parr: Right, without being distracted for hours and hours a day, looking at your phone and then after you look at it now, you have to figure, how to get back on track and you feel bad and just set you off for a couple hours like.
158
00:25:00.630 --> 00:25:09.720
Allen Parr: God doesn't want that, for us right and so that's what i'm passionate about is helping people truly get that freedom, not just from pornography, but freedom from sin.
159
00:25:11.130 --> 00:25:11.790
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: that's amazing.
160
00:25:12.360 --> 00:25:21.690
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah Thank you so much for that you know as we wrap up here pastor Alan any words of advice or anything that we didn't touch on that you would like to share with our listeners.
161
00:25:22.350 --> 00:25:29.400
Allen Parr: yeah you know the the, the main thing that I really want people to take away from this is that.
162
00:25:30.090 --> 00:25:42.810
Allen Parr: You have to first and foremost believe that God can set you free from this because there's a lot of people who have been stuck in this for so long that they have believed the lie that of the enemy.
163
00:25:43.140 --> 00:25:48.030
Allen Parr: That this is just something i'm going to have to live with this isn't something i'm going to be able to get free from.
164
00:25:48.330 --> 00:25:53.670
Allen Parr: And if you're believing that lie, let me encourage you to know that that is not of God, that is not what.
165
00:25:54.090 --> 00:26:04.140
Allen Parr: God says, whom the son sets free is truly free indeed right the Bible says that we should not be a slave to unrighteous, but we should be slaves to righteousness.
166
00:26:04.440 --> 00:26:14.100
Allen Parr: And it says he has set us free from the power of sin and death, and so, if that's what the Bible says that's what it means God can set us free.
167
00:26:14.490 --> 00:26:27.060
Allen Parr: But until you believe that you're never going to be free and then the last thing i'll say is don't minimize don't under estimate don't justify rationalize make excuses for it.
168
00:26:27.660 --> 00:26:36.000
Allen Parr: Admit that you do have a problem because another way to stay bound in this is to just minimize that well we watch it once a week.
169
00:26:36.600 --> 00:26:46.770
Allen Parr: Oh, you know I only watch it I even had a friend of mine, years ago, who told me, I only watch it just to get myself a rouse to have sex with my wife and that's what he told me.
170
00:26:46.830 --> 00:26:49.500
Allen Parr: He literally said yes, he said that's when I watch it.
171
00:26:49.830 --> 00:27:01.230
Allen Parr: He said I watch it right before I want to have sex with my wife, so I can get going and then i'm ready, as if to say she doesn't turn me on anymore, and God forbid that girl ever found out that that's what her husband was doing.
172
00:27:02.070 --> 00:27:09.120
Allen Parr: In order to be able to be excited for her right so don't minimize it don't underestimate it um.
173
00:27:10.260 --> 00:27:15.990
Allen Parr: blow it up right like like like this is a real issue, make sure that you give it the attention that it.
174
00:27:15.990 --> 00:27:16.440
needs.
175
00:27:18.780 --> 00:27:24.780
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: that's good wisdom, again I you know I think that's really important for our listeners there's a call to action there so.
176
00:27:24.900 --> 00:27:33.960
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: um, you know as we kind of wrap up today's show brandon I know that there's always a really good takeaway that we walk away from these episodes with us what's your takeaway for today.
177
00:27:34.440 --> 00:27:39.330
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah you know I think my takeaway goes back to when we were talking about self esteem.
178
00:27:39.780 --> 00:27:45.810
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And I don't remember if we came up in this episode, but it definitely came up in the video and so will link the video in the show notes.
179
00:27:46.380 --> 00:27:53.100
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: It was kind of a MIC drop moment for me was the thing that pornography promotes is the very thing that it keeps us from achieving.
180
00:27:53.940 --> 00:28:04.890
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And you know stopping to think about, that is, you know it destroys intimacy it destroys our relationships, you know we're less attracted to our spouse if we're married I mean it's just so destructive.
181
00:28:05.310 --> 00:28:09.360
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And so I think if we can keep that in mind, it could really set us up.
182
00:28:10.350 --> 00:28:17.430
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Well, in wanting to break free because I hope we would realize that the pain that has caused, not just in our own hearts, but.
183
00:28:17.880 --> 00:28:29.010
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: If we're married specifically like the pain that is cost to our spouse, I really hope that would be enough for us to want to begin to break free how about you Karen what's your takeaway.
184
00:28:29.430 --> 00:28:36.870
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: You know, I think it was just that reminder of that cycle that we can get into the shame cycle, the guilt cycle, we watch pornography and it's almost this.
185
00:28:36.900 --> 00:28:43.680
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: vicious thing that just continues on and on, because we feel bad about what we've done, and then we hide from it, we don't want to address it.
186
00:28:43.980 --> 00:28:54.300
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: And I just love how pastor Alan kind of called us to take that next step, like acknowledged that all things are possible for those who believe right God can help us, and he can.
187
00:28:54.540 --> 00:29:01.680
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: He can encourage us and give us the strength, we need to overcome this, but we have to acknowledge it right, we have to take that next step and we have to acknowledge.
188
00:29:02.010 --> 00:29:14.370
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: yeah i'm kind of i'm struggling with a sin and I need help and I need accountability and I need brothers and sisters to come, alongside me and help me get through this so I just thought that was a great reminder and a really good message for our listeners.
189
00:29:14.550 --> 00:29:21.270
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah for sure, and you know we're talking about calls to action pastor Alan said himself that he uses covenant eyes.
190
00:29:21.540 --> 00:29:31.290
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: He uses it because it has worked in his life and he recommends it, and so we have this great opportunity today for you to try covenant eyes free for 30 days using his promo code.
191
00:29:31.680 --> 00:29:45.030
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: it's it's Alan par ll E and P ar are all one word will don't worry we'll we'll put that in the show notes as well, but i'm telling you give it a try we're giving you 30 days to try it for free.
192
00:29:45.420 --> 00:29:53.460
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: You know this is because we believe so much in accountability and and the power of it, and what it can do in our lives we're willing to offer this to you.
193
00:29:53.700 --> 00:29:59.280
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: For free 30 days and as pastor Alan said, it is worth it, we need to be able to.
194
00:29:59.580 --> 00:30:11.220
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: take that action step and change our lives, so that we can heal from the damages, so please be sure to check that out again, all of this will be in the show notes one more thing to Karen before we wrap up.
195
00:30:11.490 --> 00:30:18.900
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: is for you, who are listening, please subscribe to the podcast because the way you get to listen to all of these different guests.
196
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:26.430
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Is by subscribing you know we'll let you know when the next episode is coming we released one each week, sometimes we have a bonus one each week.
197
00:30:26.730 --> 00:30:33.630
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: You know, because we have great guests like pastor Alan to share these words of wisdom to share battle plans you know.
198
00:30:34.020 --> 00:30:37.710
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Practical steps you can take for wanting to break free.
199
00:30:38.010 --> 00:30:45.060
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: All obviously we also have other great guests, to talk about some other amazing things like wholesome content and different things like that so.
200
00:30:45.300 --> 00:30:58.110
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Be sure to subscribe and subscribe to our newsletter which will be in the show notes, because that'll keep you up to date on everything that's coming up, including the latest guests, so that you can mark it on your calendar, to be sure to check them out Karen.
201
00:30:58.800 --> 00:31:15.750
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: pastor Ellen as we wrap up today, in closing, are there any you have a ton of great programs and resources for folks Is there something that you'd like to point our listeners to and closing today or a special link that you'd like us to put in the show notes, for your for your listeners.
202
00:31:16.320 --> 00:31:29.970
Allen Parr: yeah sure, so you know, one of the things that I think are is really, really helpful in overcoming pornography is not necessarily getting rid of the negative thoughts and negative images, but replacing those with positive.
203
00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:43.050
Allen Parr: Not positive thinking, but just you know, replacing it with the word of God, replacing it with study of the word of God biblical truth, and so we do have a program that teaches people how to study the Bible.
204
00:31:43.710 --> 00:31:53.070
Allen Parr: it's a very in depth program it's a six hour training comes with a 70 page interactive workbook with assignments cheat sheets checklist all sorts of things.
205
00:31:53.820 --> 00:32:05.550
Allen Parr: comes with some coaching from me, as well as a community of people that you can join and it's called the Bible study toolkit and so it's just Alan par.com forward slash toolkit.
206
00:32:06.030 --> 00:32:12.150
Allen Parr: And you can learn all about that program that is designed to really take your study the word of God to the next level.
207
00:32:13.080 --> 00:32:22.620
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: that's awesome I will make sure we include that in the show notes for all of our listeners, and I, and I will encourage you, if you are struggling with pornography, the best thing that you can do is to.
208
00:32:22.860 --> 00:32:30.480
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: engage with developing new habits right and part of that is studying the Bible and getting engaged with pastor Ellen cars resources because.
209
00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:38.010
Karen Potter, MA Ed.: that's going to give you new things to focus on and and the word of God and the truth that you need in your life, to give you the strength to overcome this challenge.