The Covenant Eyes Podcast

Accountability: The Golden Ticket to Life- Special Guest Davin Granroth, Covenant Eyes President and COO

April 14, 2022 Hosts: Karen Potter, MA Ed., Brandon Clark from Covenant Eyes Season 1 Episode 227
The Covenant Eyes Podcast
Accountability: The Golden Ticket to Life- Special Guest Davin Granroth, Covenant Eyes President and COO
Show Notes Transcript

There are many books on porn addiction and several other porn addiction resources out there. But what is the key ingredient to success when it comes to Christian porn recovery? 

Key topics covered in this episode:

  • The hidden secret behind accountability
  • Attacking the many tentacles of pornography
  • The generational curse that must be broken

More Information:

Try Covenant Eyes FREE for 30 days: www.covenanteyes.com (Promo Code: FreePodcast)

Guest Bio:

Davin Granroth has been working for Covenant Eyes for 14 years and has been in his current position as President and Chief Operating Officer for nearly eight of those. He has helped design corporate strategy and structure, business models, vision, and culture, which has consistently led Covenant Eyes to be on the Inc 5000 list 11 times since 2010, a remarkably rare feat.

Davin has a passion for Covenant Eyes to be world-class because of seeing the incredibly destructive effects that pornography has on lives and relationships, crossing generations.

#covenanteyes #podcastsaboutporn #addiction #Christians #church

Karen Potter: hi i'm Karen potter your host of the Covenant eyes podcast, thank you for joining us today we started this podcast because we know so many people marriages and families are being impacted by pornography and we want to help connect people the tools and resources to find lasting freedom.

3
00:00:35.700 --> 00:00:36.330
Karen Potter: that's you read it.

4
00:00:37.110 --> 00:00:38.040
Karen Potter: Oh sorry.

5
00:00:38.490 --> 00:00:38.850
Sorry.

6
00:00:40.170 --> 00:00:41.010
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Can we start over.

7
00:00:41.310 --> 00:00:42.510
Karen Potter: yeah, of course, is.

8
00:00:43.080 --> 00:00:44.220
Karen Potter: transitioned over to you and.

9
00:00:46.470 --> 00:00:47.250
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: I thought you were gonna.

10
00:00:47.340 --> 00:00:48.690
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Either you're gonna introduce me.

11
00:00:49.260 --> 00:00:53.280
Karen Potter: So no I was gonna let you introduce yourself, because the script sorry.

12
00:00:53.940 --> 00:00:54.690
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Alright sounds good.

13
00:00:54.990 --> 00:00:56.820
Karen Potter: nicely this disorganized David.

14
00:00:58.140 --> 00:00:59.700
Davin: And I don't need a script that right like.

15
00:00:59.730 --> 00:01:00.390
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: No right.

16
00:01:00.450 --> 00:01:08.040
Karen Potter: yeah you're good alright lori hi i'm Karen potter your host of the Covenant eyes podcast, thank you for joining us today.

17
00:01:08.370 --> 00:01:20.730
Karen Potter: We started this podcast because we know so many people marriages and families are being impacted by pornography and we want to help connect people to tools and resources that help them find lasting freedom.

18
00:01:21.630 --> 00:01:30.600
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah we sure do Karen i'm brandon Clark i'm a Co host here on the Covenant eyes podcast and if you're just tuning in for the first time, I just want to welcome you, because.

19
00:01:30.930 --> 00:01:34.920
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: This is a great opportunity to learn about resources and tools to.

20
00:01:35.160 --> 00:01:42.960
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Not only help you live a better life, but to help protect your family protect your marriage being more intentional and the digital world so.

21
00:01:43.170 --> 00:01:57.210
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: we're very excited to have you on with us today, we have a fantastic guest, who will introduce in just a minute, but first Karen we really want to hear from our listeners, as we continue to grow this podcast.

22
00:01:57.600 --> 00:02:10.380
Karen Potter: We sure, do we want to hear from each and every one of you so there's a couple ways that you can do that, you can send us an email at podcast at covenant eyes calm, or you can leave comments and feedback in.

23
00:02:10.890 --> 00:02:18.690
Karen Potter: YouTube channels or wherever you get your podcast because we want to get your feedback we also want to know if you have show topic ideas.

24
00:02:18.930 --> 00:02:30.810
Karen Potter: For guests you'd like to see us bring on the show so don't forget that send us an email make sure you subscribe to the podcast and also give us a rating on all the podcasts doors and let us know how we're doing.

25
00:02:32.070 --> 00:02:39.210
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah and we're very excited for today's topic and guest, because it really speaks to the heart of what we do here at covenant eyes.

26
00:02:39.480 --> 00:02:50.490
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: So the topic today is accountability, the golden ticket to life and our special guest is David grand Roth our very own president and chief operating officer here at covenant eyes.

27
00:02:50.940 --> 00:02:57.120
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: David has been working for covenant eyes for 14 years and has been in his current position for nearly eight of those.

28
00:02:57.510 --> 00:03:11.640
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: He designs corporate strategy and structure business models vision and culture, which has consistently led covenant eyes to be on the Inc 5000 list 11 times since 2010 that's a remarkably rare feat.

29
00:03:12.120 --> 00:03:17.610
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: David has a passion for covenant eyes as you'll see as we continue our conversations throughout the day today.

30
00:03:18.360 --> 00:03:30.570
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: To be a world class because i've seen the incredibly destructive effects that pornography has on lives and relationships going across many generations so we're very excited to have David with us today Karen.

31
00:03:32.130 --> 00:03:41.580
Karen Potter: Welcome, Stephen we're so glad to have you joining us and today's topic really speaks to the heart of what we do here at covenant eyes so i'm really excited to dive into this topic.

32
00:03:42.090 --> 00:03:51.150
Karen Potter: You know i've been with covenant eyes for gosh it's been over five years now it's amazing time goes so fast and i've traveled all over the country and talk to pastors and leaders and.

33
00:03:51.480 --> 00:03:59.970
Karen Potter: You know it's amazing to me, but everyone agrees that accountability is biblical and it is a right path to take when addressing issues like pornography.

34
00:04:00.420 --> 00:04:06.930
Karen Potter: But one of the most common things that I hear is that it's so hard and it's difficult and we don't always do it well.

35
00:04:07.440 --> 00:04:17.880
Karen Potter: um you know for our audience the oven Would you mind kind of walking us through kind of a good basic understanding of what accountability is and then kind of what its context is.

36
00:04:18.810 --> 00:04:27.840
Davin: yeah absolutely brandon and Karen Thank you guys, for having me here, it looks i'm excited to be here and congratulate you on the podcast and actually getting rolling now i've got a few.

37
00:04:28.350 --> 00:04:38.850
Davin: episodes already recorded some it's a good initiative that we have accountability, I think, is one of these concepts that we hear in media just in mass media all the time.

38
00:04:39.330 --> 00:04:45.600
Davin: And, most of the time when I hear the word accountability I end up thinking Oh, but that's not accountability, so if you think about you know.

39
00:04:45.960 --> 00:05:01.980
Davin: Any news program or some government agency or politician or something broke trust right they did something that the public, you know somebody somebody else's offended now how dare they and then right the the next words are they need to be held accountable right.

40
00:05:02.730 --> 00:05:04.230
Davin: yeah oh.

41
00:05:06.060 --> 00:05:15.270
Davin: that's accountability right, you know and it caused me to think well word accountability company i'm like is that what is that the accountability that we're talking about like no not even close.

42
00:05:15.660 --> 00:05:24.420
Davin: right that sounds more like a desire for justice or or even worse vengeance right, this is that that sounds like an eye for an eye sort of a notion of like that's.

43
00:05:25.470 --> 00:05:27.990
Davin: that's not the idea of accountability that actually works.

44
00:05:30.090 --> 00:05:35.280
Davin: Right, I know you guys have heard it and you guys can probably off, you know I think all of our listeners can think of oh yes.

45
00:05:36.300 --> 00:05:37.380
Davin: But right.

46
00:05:37.830 --> 00:05:38.340
Yes.

47
00:05:39.450 --> 00:05:45.690
Davin: Right let's like that I really hope that we don't have customers who come to us, people who come to cover an eyes and think I need that kind of accountability.

48
00:05:45.900 --> 00:05:50.220
Davin: You know i'm so and so it's got a common right like no.

49
00:05:53.010 --> 00:05:54.000
Davin: that's not right.

50
00:05:54.180 --> 00:06:06.870
Davin: So I think that's one of the problems that we run into is how do we well what is accountability, then, if it isn't that if it if it isn't some sense of justice or an eye for an eye, well, what does it right, what does it actually require, and so we actually had a group of employees.

51
00:06:08.010 --> 00:06:11.070
Davin: Tom I think was tomlin Dino Aaron states and john Parkinson.

52
00:06:11.700 --> 00:06:19.590
Davin: number of years ago did this sort of brain trust activities they try to define Okay, but what do we mean by accountability and I thought it was brilliant.

53
00:06:20.040 --> 00:06:35.430
Davin: We haven't ever published it, you know I thought, maybe we can but i'm gonna i'm not gonna hold you know heavily from that, but there was a few ideas that I think really work for our thoughts about accountability, and I would say that healthy effective accountability requires.

54
00:06:36.510 --> 00:06:41.970
Davin: It requires a few things it requires a person so we're talking about progress and people quitting prior right.

55
00:06:43.830 --> 00:06:53.460
Davin: That kind of way, it has to include the person who wants to quit So this is the basics right the person who wants to quit and, ideally, ideally, that person initiates this.

56
00:06:54.030 --> 00:07:01.530
Davin: That they own it there's a sense of ownership, I want to put this behind the uncommitted because depending The second is a set of allies.

57
00:07:01.980 --> 00:07:09.150
Davin: At least one but ideally a set of people who are coming alongside and saying i'm with you what like what are we doing but i'm with you right.

58
00:07:09.810 --> 00:07:24.000
Davin: They might they might be surprised you're taken back by it, but they're willing to help take care about the person who wants to quit right there and they're willing to serve in that capacity on passion, the third, and this is the part that softness and the third is a clear commitment.

59
00:07:25.320 --> 00:07:35.160
Davin: Clear spoken commitment at least to no longer seek out porn no longer seek out for him and to talk with each other about it.

60
00:07:36.060 --> 00:07:45.150
Davin: Right and that that absence of commitment I think there's also the fourth The fourth is a feedback system at the fourth of the feedback system set that provides ongoing transparency.

61
00:07:45.780 --> 00:08:02.580
Davin: So that those allies, he will come in to help the person wants to quit was allies and monitor and see how that person is doing, according to their commitment, according to their so person who wants to change behavior a set of people were there to help.

62
00:08:04.290 --> 00:08:16.500
Davin: A commitment to actually make that change, and then a system of feedback so monitoring for anybody to happen and and I think you know back to the reopen sort of like oh when mass media somebody says they need to be held accountable.

63
00:08:17.940 --> 00:08:23.070
Davin: That sounds really dramatic, but you know i'm an executive in the company, I believe this is true for any company.

64
00:08:24.570 --> 00:08:32.520
Davin: And I will throw anybody under the bus but i'm willing to bet that in any any corporation employees have run into the situation where somebody feels like well so and so's not pulling his or her weight.

65
00:08:33.750 --> 00:08:36.000
Davin: And they go to a manager and say hey so and so it's not the job.

66
00:08:37.500 --> 00:08:42.330
Davin: Right and all of a sudden, we actually have a little little tiny accountability scenario.

67
00:08:43.110 --> 00:08:55.080
Davin: And it's usually wrong it's usually broken, because the complaining employee well here's what usually happens to you know generalizing here but here's what usually happens that employee has a particular work ethic that they've committed to privately.

68
00:08:56.610 --> 00:09:08.340
Davin: And it's detailed and they're assuming that other employees share the same work ethic, but they've never said it, and the other employee never agreed and said yeah totally you can hold me accountable for your work ethic like.

69
00:09:10.050 --> 00:09:17.310
Davin: Right it's that secret it's that secret commitment that that personalized never shared and then, and then you accuse somebody.

70
00:09:18.090 --> 00:09:26.580
Davin: And you call that hold somebody accountable, but it isn't me accountable when there's that shared commitment that spoken shared commitment or written community.

71
00:09:27.150 --> 00:09:37.830
Davin: So I just want to put that out there, what is healthy accountability look like that it has to have those kinds of ingredients or or I don't think what you're doing is accountability it's something else that's probably negative is probably not actually helping.

72
00:09:38.880 --> 00:09:40.380
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: I think that's really great.

73
00:09:40.620 --> 00:09:45.630
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah that's really great insight, you know, looking at the aspect of pornography.

74
00:09:46.710 --> 00:09:50.310
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: To get to the point you're talking about of wanting to get help.

75
00:09:51.060 --> 00:10:01.140
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: It takes a long time and it's often a sad journey I just I stayed in my own journey, you know the point to get to where I actually was committed to.

76
00:10:01.530 --> 00:10:10.560
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Making that step of bringing accountability into my life, and so it can be baffling even for me who have gone through it, to see that.

77
00:10:11.100 --> 00:10:18.360
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Pornography even in its destructive ness can suck us deeper, and we can fall deep into pornography, use and.

78
00:10:19.260 --> 00:10:35.040
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Just, I guess, I want to follow up to the the accountability question, in that it takes a little bit to get to this point, you know why do we see Dave and why is it so hard for people to quit and why do they fall deeper and deeper until a point where they're really like.

79
00:10:36.090 --> 00:10:40.140
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: face down on the ground, realizing that they have nowhere else to turn.

80
00:10:41.190 --> 00:10:46.740
Davin: yeah right, so you know your story i'm sure that you, you have perspective on this.

81
00:10:47.460 --> 00:10:53.940
Davin: Quite a quite a few years back, I also went through my own journey struggling against pornography, and so I think those people who have been through or going through it.

82
00:10:54.930 --> 00:11:01.020
Davin: My experience in my observations that that people have been through it there's at the heart of it there's there's a couple of lies.

83
00:11:01.740 --> 00:11:14.490
Davin: That people tell themselves and i'm going to simplistically boil it down to two I think there's two very, very common lies that a person hasn't and it might start you know there's so many ways, that a person might get exposed to pornography.

84
00:11:15.570 --> 00:11:18.690
Davin: Not even necessarily seeking it out at first, but get exposed to it.

85
00:11:20.220 --> 00:11:24.900
Davin: And then end up wanting to go back to it, and sometimes it's you know months or years later, but they go back to.

86
00:11:25.320 --> 00:11:25.560
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: That it's.

87
00:11:26.370 --> 00:11:39.540
Davin: got its hooks in and they want to eventually, for whatever reason, they end up turning back to it when they turn back to it, they rationalize it, we have the power of rationalization to make horrible things he makes up the ball and there's there's two The first one is.

88
00:11:41.640 --> 00:11:44.970
Davin: That I can i'm in charge, I can quit anytime I want.

89
00:11:46.950 --> 00:11:56.340
Davin: Right, I can I can quit whenever I want i'm just you know this doesn't have a hold on me, I still have that ability to choose, and the second one is well it's not harming anybody.

90
00:11:58.290 --> 00:12:06.660
Davin: Right, because if you can say I have, I have a direct quote whenever I want, and you believe that to be true, you can rationalize your way into an addiction.

91
00:12:08.160 --> 00:12:20.040
Davin: Right and before you realize that you can't quit and the second one, if you can tell yourself, you convince yourself in the moment that it's not actually hurting anybody because and why why want to hurt anybody what because i'm keeping it secret.

92
00:12:21.180 --> 00:12:23.970
Davin: If they don't know about it, then it won't hurt anybody and i'm still good person.

93
00:12:25.620 --> 00:12:35.430
Davin: Right and not harming others so for the three of us who have been in this industry those two those two statements are patently wrong like it's.

94
00:12:37.800 --> 00:12:43.200
Davin: Like we have how much evidence to the contrary, on both those points it's ridiculous, but in that moment.

95
00:12:44.520 --> 00:12:52.620
Davin: As a person who's rationalizing their behavior a small step out of the norm small divergence from what what they would typically have as a virtuous life.

96
00:12:53.340 --> 00:12:57.720
Davin: or life, where they really have a reason to have integrity it's easy to take those steps.

97
00:12:58.350 --> 00:13:06.330
Davin: Right and then you combine that shame of that secrecy and you can tell that story, you can spin that shame or secrecy, I say i'm doing i'm not telling anybody because I want to protect them.

98
00:13:07.230 --> 00:13:14.700
Davin: And now somehow your normal right in there and i'm kind of laughing right you that sort of them don't unintentionally talking about it but it's that.

99
00:13:16.440 --> 00:13:27.720
Davin: it's that deep betrayal you know that actually happens, and you can walk you can walk years you don't want years telling yourself with two stories and by the time the pain is so great like you said, your face down.

100
00:13:28.980 --> 00:13:32.160
Davin: And you realize why I tried to quit 100 times I haven't.

101
00:13:33.390 --> 00:13:34.710
Davin: And you cannot trust yourself.

102
00:13:35.760 --> 00:13:48.570
Davin: And you realize at the very least, have profoundly hurt yourself, it is hurting somebody and probably you've heard other people, whether you realize it or just even even without saying, even if people aren't aware you've probably.

103
00:13:49.860 --> 00:13:53.580
Davin: damaged relationships, you probably pushed people away because we need to keep a secret.

104
00:13:54.600 --> 00:14:01.800
Davin: and other people are damaged because you're not with them right it's just so we can get pre right we just turn this.

105
00:14:01.890 --> 00:14:04.050
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: off to someplace kind of darcy and.

106
00:14:05.040 --> 00:14:07.080
Davin: But that's our business right.

107
00:14:07.560 --> 00:14:09.960
Karen Potter: It is it is you know and even you brought up.

108
00:14:10.530 --> 00:14:20.190
Karen Potter: You know shame it just it kind of perpetuates the cycle right, we feel the shame and the guilt about our secrets then we're struggling with, and then it just pushes us deeper and deeper into that.

109
00:14:20.610 --> 00:14:27.600
Karen Potter: And I think one of the hardest parts about accountability, at least in my own experiences, has always been that vulnerability because.

110
00:14:28.110 --> 00:14:31.950
Karen Potter: When you're ready to get accountability and do it well, and do it right.

111
00:14:32.430 --> 00:14:39.510
Karen Potter: You have to be vulnerable and you're going to be opening yourself up and having to trust another human being with things about yourself that are.

112
00:14:40.020 --> 00:14:44.880
Karen Potter: Not pretty and not things that you would want to take and share with the world and so.

113
00:14:45.450 --> 00:14:56.910
Karen Potter: How do you think that that vulnerability piece really plays into accountability because it's not something that we talked about frequently when we hear the word accountability, but I think it's an important piece to it, what are your thoughts.

114
00:14:58.230 --> 00:15:05.190
Davin: yeah that's a that's a hard one I the vulnerability and brandon's you talked a little bit about this, what what does it take to get to the point where you're.

115
00:15:05.760 --> 00:15:13.890
Davin: you're willing to be vulnerable that you're not you have to let go protecting yourself right, and I think there's a couple things that are happening.

116
00:15:15.300 --> 00:15:16.140
Davin: In that one is.

117
00:15:18.450 --> 00:15:31.110
Davin: there's a there's a persecution that happens inside yourself where you're accusing yourself, you the story that you're telling yourself that negative voice, you have reasons to be negative against yourself right, you know.

118
00:15:32.640 --> 00:15:46.830
Davin: That you're not good enough right that there's there's a lot of pain there's a lot there's a lot of self inflicted pain that goes on regardless of anybody else who might find out was upset about it, you realize that your sense of honor as a person has been damaged.

119
00:15:49.050 --> 00:15:49.530
Davin: and

120
00:15:53.640 --> 00:15:54.750
Davin: You know there's a.

121
00:15:56.940 --> 00:15:59.490
Davin: What is the opening of beatitudes.

122
00:16:00.810 --> 00:16:01.920
Davin: blessed are the poor in spirit.

123
00:16:03.870 --> 00:16:04.050
Right.

124
00:16:05.520 --> 00:16:09.450
Davin: Right porn spirit like when I think of somebody who's been struggling with an addiction.

125
00:16:10.470 --> 00:16:13.500
Davin: And they're broken and they're at that point where they're broken.

126
00:16:15.480 --> 00:16:23.730
Davin: that's that's a that's a that's a potential turning point in their life in their spiritual life, as well as the whole the whole life.

127
00:16:24.660 --> 00:16:34.950
Davin: I because they're poor in spirit, because it bless it other points period because right there pride has been set aside it can't stand in the brokenness of their spirit.

128
00:16:36.210 --> 00:16:44.880
Davin: And that happens right in a beautiful way to set them up for a path for healing where they're willing to come vulnerable towards.

129
00:16:44.940 --> 00:16:57.660
Davin: Somebody that cares about that's where that's where a trust and a sense of being loved by somebody else instead of having an ally, having a friend who come alongside you, and want the best for you want the good for you become so powerful.

130
00:16:59.010 --> 00:17:00.450
Davin: Right and that's you know.

131
00:17:02.610 --> 00:17:10.350
Davin: I really think that's that's part of that, where does it come from, how do you get to that place if you're going to best scenarios of course guess that stage for their on their knees.

132
00:17:11.010 --> 00:17:28.320
Davin: And they're dependent, but their understanding that they can't keep going on their own that they need help there so points for it, they need somebody else, and you know I would argue, and probably our audience would agree that you know God is.

133
00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:41.940
Davin: Right God God has that person that cares that person, regardless right, I think, is a key detail, you know and something I wish I had the verse that comes to mind here but there's another element of this.

134
00:17:43.200 --> 00:17:43.620
Davin: That.

135
00:17:44.820 --> 00:17:45.720
Davin: That says.

136
00:17:46.980 --> 00:17:47.550
Davin: That.

137
00:17:48.570 --> 00:18:00.690
Davin: Well i'll share this this story with you guys that, as I was going through it quite a few years back, there was this place, I was in where you talked about isolating of separating oneself I knew.

138
00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:08.550
Davin: I knew that I yearned for church, and so I would literally drive I would drive to a church.

139
00:18:09.750 --> 00:18:10.680
Davin: To church and you're saying.

140
00:18:11.670 --> 00:18:12.300
Davin: and

141
00:18:12.870 --> 00:18:26.160
Davin: on a Sunday morning and I and the willpower it took to get in the car so now get ready for church and drive to church was a big deal right and I get to the parking lot and more than once.

142
00:18:27.060 --> 00:18:29.670
Davin: I got out of the car and I couldn't walk through the doors.

143
00:18:33.210 --> 00:18:34.500
Davin: Could lock the doors that church.

144
00:18:35.940 --> 00:18:39.300
Davin: And nobody knows anything right nobody knows the struggle.

145
00:18:41.610 --> 00:18:42.960
Davin: Right how porn spirit.

146
00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:44.430
Davin: Was.

147
00:18:45.510 --> 00:18:56.730
Davin: Right and and inherent in that is is a mistake that people were struggling me, and that is to say that I am no longer acceptable to God.

148
00:18:57.780 --> 00:19:00.000
Davin: Because of the continuance of sin.

149
00:19:01.140 --> 00:19:02.730
Davin: tried to repent I tried it, but I haven't.

150
00:19:04.080 --> 00:19:07.920
Davin: gotten back right so i'm no longer good enough.

151
00:19:09.450 --> 00:19:10.440
Davin: For god's acceptance.

152
00:19:12.810 --> 00:19:13.620
Davin: What ego.

153
00:19:15.630 --> 00:19:23.070
Davin: Because before I was in that state when I was maybe living a life of higher virtue.

154
00:19:24.180 --> 00:19:26.460
Davin: Did that mean I had earned my place to be acceptable to God.

155
00:19:27.870 --> 00:19:28.110
Davin: No.

156
00:19:30.510 --> 00:19:39.270
Davin: No and that's that's this other bit of the lie that we have to justify ourselves to be good enough to be acceptable to God and the answer is you can't possibly.

157
00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:42.840
Davin: You can't possibly be good enough.

158
00:19:44.580 --> 00:19:49.740
Davin: No matter how good you are that we're entirely dependent upon the love of God.

159
00:19:50.910 --> 00:19:57.090
Davin: And he accepts us, regardless of how bad or frankly how good we think we are we're wrong.

160
00:19:58.230 --> 00:20:04.680
Davin: God sees us for who we are right and and that right so for anybody out there who might be listening who might be able to identify with that.

161
00:20:06.060 --> 00:20:21.390
Davin: There was a deeper heart transformation that's ready to happen and then just to let go the sense of self that the story, the way that you tell about your own life that there's something that you can do to be good enough you actually have to fully depend upon god's favor.

162
00:20:22.410 --> 00:20:30.630
Davin: And that right blessed are the poor in spirit is the beginning of the journey of healing and transformation so right, how do we.

163
00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:33.180
Davin: How do we help them get there right.

164
00:20:35.850 --> 00:20:39.030
Davin: To take place we do we do our lesson.

165
00:20:40.200 --> 00:20:43.140
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: I love, how you put that because I think you know we talked about.

166
00:20:43.890 --> 00:20:53.460
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: In that destructiveness of pornography there's really a beauty when we hit that moment of we realize we can't do it ourselves and that's really, I think, where we come to.

167
00:20:53.910 --> 00:21:01.020
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: encounter God in a real powerful way and so as we you know we talk about accountability in terms of.

168
00:21:01.380 --> 00:21:09.960
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: pornography and breaking free but really they have and that's just one step, you know we have accountability in so many different areas of our lives.

169
00:21:10.290 --> 00:21:25.710
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And one of the reasons we talk we titled the topic, the way it is accountability, the golden ticket to life is because this isn't just about pornography, there should be a greater accountability pattern in our lives, I wonder if you can speak to that just a little bit.

170
00:21:26.310 --> 00:21:40.770
Davin: yeah I think one of the me i've been thinking about this topic in general, for a long time, almost since I started here and coming in eyes and I think one of the it's almost a hidden secret of our service is that.

171
00:21:42.270 --> 00:21:48.780
Davin: When people use come tonight as well over time, what happens is they forge deep friendships.

172
00:21:49.890 --> 00:21:50.970
Davin: Deep relationships.

173
00:21:52.380 --> 00:21:53.100
Davin: and

174
00:21:54.150 --> 00:22:00.180
Davin: And Contrast that with people who are really struggling have a tendency to have distanced themselves and they might say, well, I don't have any deep friendships.

175
00:22:01.710 --> 00:22:18.090
Davin: yeah That may be true right That may be true, but part of the idea of colonizes to be Trent is is to be vulnerable with people to be willing to accept help and be willing to help others right and that's a deeper friendship that can lead to a deeper relationship with people around you.

176
00:22:19.290 --> 00:22:25.590
Davin: And there's something and I guess part of it, too, is, if you think about it as a as a two way street you're in partnership with others.

177
00:22:26.040 --> 00:22:35.370
Davin: you're going through a journey with others it's not being done to me a season or somebody carrying right there might be that season, but it has to be together and there's there's a.

178
00:22:37.650 --> 00:22:46.560
Davin: You can develop a deeper virtue right through relationship with others and we succeed, better when we're in strong relationship, and we can help others what a blessing.

179
00:22:47.850 --> 00:23:00.750
Davin: right as part of it, I don't I don't just mean the outline but, but also the person is trying to quit there's unforeseen ways that that friendship will become strong you know element, and so I think I think that it sounds simple.

180
00:23:03.780 --> 00:23:06.750
Davin: And it's not at the end of it all it's actually not about quitting porn right.

181
00:23:07.770 --> 00:23:10.770
Davin: it's about a transformed life, full of goodness.

182
00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:16.530
Davin: In spite of the variables around us right, in spite of that, from it, how do we influence the world for the better.

183
00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:32.130
Davin: A an element of this again through this transformation, I think there's a personal journey and then there's a communal journey right that that goes in hand in hand with it and the word trust, I think, is part of it and.

184
00:23:33.810 --> 00:23:39.870
Davin: For somebody who's struggling and has, this is the story of the season of your life, this is pornography.

185
00:23:40.890 --> 00:23:50.580
Davin: What comes with that is that they it's hard to trust yourself you've proven you're not trustworthy to yourself, for commitment that you would have you're doing something you hate to do.

186
00:23:51.750 --> 00:24:08.430
Davin: So how can you trust yourself really deep, deep down inside, how can you how can you stretch yourself as a man or a woman as a spouse or a parent as an employee or a boss, as a citizen right there's such a deep problem of integrity.

187
00:24:09.870 --> 00:24:12.150
Davin: that a person has and.

188
00:24:14.010 --> 00:24:23.910
Davin: To have somebody go through this journey of accountability with pornography, teachers, it really teaches us that we can have we can hold our inner commitments.

189
00:24:25.080 --> 00:24:26.640
Davin: We can make a commitment and honor it.

190
00:24:28.950 --> 00:24:36.420
Davin: And that's a lesson that we we didn't believe about ourselves before right and so wow that's a massively confidence building right.

191
00:24:36.690 --> 00:24:43.680
Davin: Over time, as you realize right you're part of that trend we talked about a transformation journey, the transformation journey is you realize, you can be trustworthy.

192
00:24:45.120 --> 00:24:46.680
Davin: And if you can be trustworthy.

193
00:24:48.180 --> 00:24:50.400
Davin: Then you're on a pattern for massive growth.

194
00:24:52.980 --> 00:25:00.870
Davin: Others can trust you right, so I just I think that's that's you know that golden ticket for life it's it's training wheels in a way, like it's.

195
00:25:01.350 --> 00:25:09.720
Davin: If we can provide for people who have broken the trust in themselves evidence that they can regain that integrity, they can begin a pattern of interest, really.

196
00:25:11.550 --> 00:25:12.090
Davin: You know how do you.

197
00:25:12.150 --> 00:25:14.280
Davin: need, how do you lead a team to be if you don't have that right.

198
00:25:15.780 --> 00:25:15.990
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah.

199
00:25:16.650 --> 00:25:20.760
Karen Potter: And you bring up a really good point too, because I think it's interesting that a covenant eyes, like.

200
00:25:21.360 --> 00:25:32.340
Karen Potter: Our mission our promise is to help people you know live lives, full of integrity and have these restored relationships with their friends and family and God, you know.

201
00:25:32.760 --> 00:25:36.180
Karen Potter: And it's intrinsically built into everything we do here and.

202
00:25:36.810 --> 00:25:43.260
Karen Potter: I just I love, how you talk about that re establishing of trust, because you know I think something that's important for our listeners is that.

203
00:25:43.560 --> 00:25:57.480
Karen Potter: that's a process, it takes time, you know, to re establish that integrity within ourselves and, and you know, to live up to our own promises to ourselves and to others, it takes time and it's a journey, and I think part of that.

204
00:25:58.290 --> 00:26:06.150
Karen Potter: You know that's why covenant eyes, with you on that journey we're part of that journey, because it is a long call I just like to point that out because I.

205
00:26:06.150 --> 00:26:08.130
Karen Potter: think that was really strong point that you mentioned.

206
00:26:13.080 --> 00:26:13.560
Karen Potter: Oh go ahead.

207
00:26:13.890 --> 00:26:23.430
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Sorry yeah well, I was just gonna say you know Karen you brought up covenant eyes and the promise remake I wonder, David, can you just speak a little bit about the mission of covenant eyes.

208
00:26:23.760 --> 00:26:38.280
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And how we really do seek to be world class, not because we want to be great, but because we have a heart for the people that we serve and we truly want what's best for them, including ultimately that united relationship with God.

209
00:26:39.210 --> 00:26:45.150
Davin: Absolutely yeah it's such a deep you know I think about pornography and the there was a.

210
00:26:46.620 --> 00:26:53.790
Davin: Book I read number years ago sort of booklet by going and john kolko on wicked problems and I read and I thought yeah pornography is a wicked problem.

211
00:26:54.360 --> 00:27:06.630
Davin: It had it's like a hydrate has so many heads right economically personally socially right from an addiction perspective it's it's such a difficult issue to face because it's so massive.

212
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:09.210
Davin: and

213
00:27:11.100 --> 00:27:17.640
Davin: I would say that you know pornography use lands in the realm of sexual brokenness right.

214
00:27:19.410 --> 00:27:23.250
Davin: And that's not new, this is, this is an age old.

215
00:27:24.510 --> 00:27:26.280
Davin: All part of the human problem right, this is.

216
00:27:26.580 --> 00:27:44.190
Davin: This is a very human scale problem, but what happened is over the last you know 50 years with technology and and really over the last maybe 20 years with the Internet and mobile devices that I just think that the availability of pornography.

217
00:27:45.210 --> 00:27:45.870
Davin: Has.

218
00:27:47.850 --> 00:27:57.750
Davin: it's hard to put a number on it, but it's absolutely exploded it's absolutely exploded around the world in us and, and I think an analogy would be like.

219
00:27:59.970 --> 00:28:09.420
Davin: You know people, people have you know issues with food like mcdonald's and I get a big MAC right why because it has sodium and fat in it.

220
00:28:10.950 --> 00:28:13.710
Davin: My body is craving nice that's why.

221
00:28:14.100 --> 00:28:21.240
Davin: And then I wanted to read more of the coke right because it's so you know, like the thirsty because, like right there hyper stimulants like these are.

222
00:28:22.320 --> 00:28:31.740
Davin: they're wired they're wired for our bodies to just consume, this is it healthy, by all means no right, and I think pornography, has a similar effect.

223
00:28:32.310 --> 00:28:40.140
Davin: On our on our sexual our sexual wiring right and it just would be to this sort of massive addiction, with all the issues that we talked about before of secrecy and shame.

224
00:28:42.330 --> 00:28:42.930
Davin: So.

225
00:28:44.340 --> 00:28:45.900
Davin: I I would pose that.

226
00:28:47.430 --> 00:28:50.550
Davin: there's so much pain in the world there's so much it leads to broken people.

227
00:28:51.930 --> 00:28:57.810
Davin: It leads to broken people, but those broken people lead to broken families broken relationships poker face.

228
00:28:59.070 --> 00:29:09.570
Davin: Right, I think untended this issue, I think that I would pose that the journey of the church itself of the faithful is at risk.

229
00:29:10.710 --> 00:29:15.270
Davin: Just like I said earlier, I dropped a church and couldn't go in the doors okay.

230
00:29:16.320 --> 00:29:22.140
Davin: Well, eventually, I did but play that out for how many people walk away and never walk into a church again.

231
00:29:22.890 --> 00:29:33.000
Davin: Right that's an invisible loss right the pastor didn't see that, because the person wasn't there right it's it's it's it's easy to mess what was never there in the first place, and I think that's.

232
00:29:34.320 --> 00:29:35.460
Davin: Just millions of people.

233
00:29:36.900 --> 00:29:42.480
Davin: Who are not living a full life or not engaging in their communities and the poor communities and healthy ways.

234
00:29:43.650 --> 00:29:48.720
Davin: And I know that we've all heard stories, or maybe even you know associated and families that have.

235
00:29:49.950 --> 00:29:55.320
Davin: brokenness physical abuse emotional abuse mental abuse, sexual abuse.

236
00:29:56.520 --> 00:30:00.120
Davin: That carries a grandparent or a parent to a child.

237
00:30:01.260 --> 00:30:03.000
Davin: Right and that generational impact.

238
00:30:04.050 --> 00:30:07.950
Davin: is absolutely devastating it's absolutely it's it's it's heart wrenching.

239
00:30:10.290 --> 00:30:11.850
Davin: and, especially, people who are in the thick of it.

240
00:30:13.080 --> 00:30:13.680
Davin: So.

241
00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:18.780
Davin: My we talked about the impact of pornography on the world.

242
00:30:19.860 --> 00:30:22.050
Davin: it's pretty easy for me to see that outcome.

243
00:30:23.370 --> 00:30:24.840
Davin: That brokenness towards abuse.

244
00:30:25.980 --> 00:30:40.860
Davin: Right and how many millions of families are experiencing some way or will as part of US continues and there is a causal connection it absolutely is but I didn't watch pornography continue consume pornography, we train ourselves to objectify people.

245
00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:43.020
Davin: And we fail to see him.

246
00:30:44.100 --> 00:30:44.970
Davin: In a compassionate way as.

247
00:30:46.410 --> 00:30:48.990
Davin: It just does and we just were sensitized towards violence.

248
00:30:51.930 --> 00:30:52.530
Davin: What a curse.

249
00:30:53.490 --> 00:30:55.380
Davin: So I take heart in those times when I think.

250
00:30:55.920 --> 00:30:57.180
Davin: How many families.

251
00:30:58.860 --> 00:31:00.780
Davin: because somebody in that family used covenant eyes.

252
00:31:02.070 --> 00:31:06.540
Davin: and was able to put that generational history to death.

253
00:31:09.210 --> 00:31:12.690
Davin: rate and their grandchildren will live in a House of peace and love.

254
00:31:14.040 --> 00:31:29.730
Davin: that's that's what it's my my peace and love healthy whole house right full of love and laughter good right that's the that's the benefit of somebody in this generational line, making a choice to stop that curse right.

255
00:31:30.750 --> 00:31:40.410
Davin: And right how many right thousands and thousands and thousands right how many millions of people can be impacted by this, so I think that when I think what is the mission of covenant eyes, I.

256
00:31:41.160 --> 00:31:48.210
Davin: there's a lot to be said, but that might be a way to visualize it to say what are we here for we're here to stop a curse upon humanity.

257
00:31:49.050 --> 00:31:57.450
Davin: And to partner with people who are learning to come right take take a stand and go through that journey of healing and transformation, not just for themselves.

258
00:31:57.990 --> 00:32:06.510
Davin: But blow it out to your lifetime blow it out to your whole family's lifetime, what kind of beautiful influence can follow.

259
00:32:07.170 --> 00:32:19.470
Davin: What is certainly a challenging journey but boy, is it worth it, I wish people could see the IBM right put the people could see the beautiful outcome, the beautiful impact the generations later who wouldn't choose to quit.

260
00:32:20.850 --> 00:32:21.720
Karen Potter: Right who wouldn't.

261
00:32:22.290 --> 00:32:32.220
Davin: Absolutely everybody so that's I think that's at the heart of our mission is that word a historical time because of where the Internet has taken us and pornography is taken us.

262
00:32:33.450 --> 00:32:39.540
Davin: And as as humanity, we did not have wisdom in this, but we're we're in the place of origin that wisdom.

263
00:32:40.740 --> 00:32:47.130
Davin: about how to live a better life and how about have healthier families regard to technology, particularly about pornography.

264
00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:52.800
Karen Potter: Oh, my gosh David that was great and.

265
00:32:52.830 --> 00:32:53.880
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: You know that's one of the reasons.

266
00:32:53.880 --> 00:33:01.110
Karen Potter: I absolutely love being a part of the mission here because really we are helping people create a legacy.

267
00:33:01.500 --> 00:33:08.220
Karen Potter: and change the course of you know their family's history ever you know their future it's just it's an amazing.

268
00:33:08.640 --> 00:33:13.230
Karen Potter: mission that we're on here and I want to leave our listeners, you know, on a positive note that.

269
00:33:13.770 --> 00:33:21.780
Karen Potter: You know covenant eyes is here to support you, we are a resource and a tool to this journey to freedom from pornography.

270
00:33:22.200 --> 00:33:33.120
Karen Potter: We also foster that deep accountability relationship, I mean that is the heart and soul of our software, it is about connecting me with other people who will walk with you that.

271
00:33:33.420 --> 00:33:36.840
Karen Potter: barnabas that Timothy and that Paul kind of relationship.

272
00:33:37.260 --> 00:33:44.520
Karen Potter: On and I just I want to encourage everyone out there if you're listening and you're you're struggling with pornography and you're not sure what to do.

273
00:33:44.850 --> 00:33:52.740
Karen Potter: You know covenant eyes is here to help you, you know we have a customer support line, please give us a call we'll help connect you with tools and resources.

274
00:33:53.310 --> 00:33:58.920
Karen Potter: You know our software is an amazing step in the right direction to getting that accountability in place for life so.

275
00:33:59.310 --> 00:34:07.980
Karen Potter: I just want to reach out to everyone out there, I know that somebody's listening and needed to hear this message today from David and David gosh that was so powerful and amazing and thank you for sharing.

276
00:34:08.700 --> 00:34:10.410
Davin: Your welcomes pleasure to talk with.

277
00:34:13.020 --> 00:34:24.930
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: David thanks so much, and if you are listening and you have been inspired as well, I really want to encourage you to spread the word, you know, the way we get this message out far and wide.

278
00:34:25.290 --> 00:34:33.870
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Is you spreading the word sharing the podcasts subscribing to the podcast leaving reviews so other people can see what you've listened to.

279
00:34:34.230 --> 00:34:43.650
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: It all starts with you, so please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and be sure to drop us a note, if you have been inspired if covenant eyes has.

280
00:34:44.610 --> 00:34:56.070
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: touched your life and and helped you reclaim your life and reclaim your family and the legacy of your family, let us know by sending us an email at podcast at covenant eyes COM.

281
00:34:56.460 --> 00:35:05.700
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: that's podcast at covenant eyes COM we love to hear stories and we get to see them and hear about them all the time, and we want to hear what yours is as well.

282
00:35:07.380 --> 00:35:21.420
Karen Potter: Absolutely, and with that we do want to close today's podcast with just a quick reminder that, if you are ready to take that next step in the journey to freedom, we do have a free 30 day trial of covenant eyes available to our podcast listeners.

283
00:35:21.570 --> 00:35:37.650
Karen Potter: listeners only if you go to covenant eyes.com and in checkout enter the promo code free podcast that's free podcast you'll get a free 30 day trial of covenant eyes and you can start to experience the journey to freedom.

284
00:35:38.040 --> 00:35:44.370
Karen Potter: And again from everyone here covenant eyes Thank you so much for joining us for today's podcast and we'll see you next time.