The Two Reasons We Struggle with Porn, Special Guest Dr. Eddie Capparucci

Karen Potter: hello, and welcome to the Covenant eyes podcast i'm your host Karen potter joined by my co host brandon Clark, and we are so glad to have you with us today.

3
00:00:19.230 --> 00:00:21.060
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah we sure are Karen how are you today.

4
00:00:21.480 --> 00:00:23.130
Karen Potter: Oh, not too bad how about you.

5
00:00:23.370 --> 00:00:30.810
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Good i'm doing great i'm so excited for our guest today who will introduce and get into in just a moment.

6
00:00:31.110 --> 00:00:41.010
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: You know I do want to shout out to our listeners, though, if this is your first time listening to the Covenant eyes podcast first of all welcome we're so glad that you're with us today.

7
00:00:41.910 --> 00:00:50.190
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And just to tell you a little bit about the podcast we talk about tough topics like pornography, but the great news is.

8
00:00:50.400 --> 00:01:06.450
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: We don't just present the problem we have solutions, so we have a wide array of professionals each week joining us like our guests today who share must have resources and tools to really battle this an important problem in the Church.

9
00:01:08.280 --> 00:01:14.460
Karen Potter: Absolutely, and before we introduce today's guest I do want to just remind everyone out there that.

10
00:01:14.700 --> 00:01:21.390
Karen Potter: We need your help and sharing the word about the podcast you know we bring on these amazing guests with awesome resources.

11
00:01:21.630 --> 00:01:32.190
Karen Potter: But we need you to share that with other people, because if we're going to see change in culture we've got to be that change so help us by liking our show subscribing and then sharing with your friends and family.

12
00:01:34.200 --> 00:01:39.390
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah and i'll just add here to Karen that for our listeners today, we do have a free 30 day trial.

13
00:01:39.780 --> 00:01:48.660
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Of the Covenant eyes software so it's a great opportunity if you're listening, maybe you, you know a little bit about Kevin and dies have never given it a try.

14
00:01:49.080 --> 00:01:52.530
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: To begin living a life of accountability and.

15
00:01:53.070 --> 00:02:10.650
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: We all need it right, we all need that accountability in our lives in many different areas and you've got nothing to lose to try it for 30 days so just visit our website covenant eyes calm and then you can enter the promo code free podcast that's all one word free podcast at the checkout.

16
00:02:12.330 --> 00:02:18.990
Karen Potter: awesome well for today's topic we have a pretty exciting topic and i'm going to go ahead and introduce.

17
00:02:19.350 --> 00:02:30.990
Karen Potter: The topic and our guest so we've got the two reasons we struggle with porn as the conversation for today's podcast i'm super excited to jump into that we're looking forward to this conversation with one of the.

18
00:02:31.170 --> 00:02:43.890
Karen Potter: Best guys out there, I you come highly recommended cm black in the company eyes gang here is just singing your praises so i'm so honored to have you on the show Dr eddie Kappa ricci did I say that.

19
00:02:43.890 --> 00:02:45.300
Eddit: Right yes.

20
00:02:46.950 --> 00:02:47.760
Karen Potter: it's a lovely.

21
00:02:49.530 --> 00:03:01.140
Karen Potter: But Dr eddie as a Christian counselor he's a coach a certified certified in treating problematic sexual behaviors he has worked with professional athletes TV personalities.

22
00:03:01.650 --> 00:03:18.510
Karen Potter: are among some of his best clients, he is a creator of the inner child model for treating problematic sexual behaviors a unique approach that focuses on identifying and resolving childhood pain points and teaching individuals, how to process emotional distress.

23
00:03:19.800 --> 00:03:20.430
Karen Potter: wow.

24
00:03:20.790 --> 00:03:29.310
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah Karen I should add to he's the author of several books, including going deeper how the inner child impacts your sexual addiction.

25
00:03:29.670 --> 00:03:38.310
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Why men struggle to love overcoming relational blind spots and removing your shame label breaking from shame and feeling god's love.

26
00:03:38.580 --> 00:03:52.440
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: he's also the administrator of two blog sites men against foreign calm and sexually pure men and he's the host of a monthly webinar getting to the other side, Dr eddie cappuccino, how do you have time for all that.

27
00:03:53.340 --> 00:03:59.790
Eddit: I got it kind of overwhelming get you guys throw it at all at me and I realized now how busy I am.

28
00:04:00.930 --> 00:04:07.290
Eddit: Well, my wife my wife will say, and she does say this, if you, if I think you're a busy man in the world.

29
00:04:07.800 --> 00:04:17.070
Eddit: um she may be close I may be close I think there's some other people in front of me, but you know what it is that it is the passion and drive I have for this.

30
00:04:17.940 --> 00:04:30.180
Eddit: I would go deep very quickly I struggled with my with my own sexual addiction growing up, you know as a child teenager young to go and what I finally when I hit about.

31
00:04:31.320 --> 00:04:39.000
Eddit: 40 and I was like I can't do this anymore, and I went and I did the work it'll cover that my my main problem with thought.

32
00:04:39.420 --> 00:04:49.410
Eddit: You know the sexual acting out by me problem was I had an attachment disorder lbw I have one foot in one foot out of every relationship, I was ever heard.

33
00:04:49.860 --> 00:04:58.650
Eddit: And so, therefore, you know I needed to work on that as i'm worked on that i've met my current wife that was like 25 years ago, was a very.

34
00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:07.140
Eddit: Strong Christian woman what you call a passive Christian what the church on Sunday do my money into collection pot and walked out.

35
00:05:07.410 --> 00:05:18.030
Eddit: Not her, she knew scriptures you know all of that, and that was part of transformation that I may working with a lot of other wonderful mentors and men over the years.

36
00:05:18.390 --> 00:05:23.460
Eddit: That got me to understand what do they really need to be have a relationship with Christ.

37
00:05:23.970 --> 00:05:34.200
Eddit: But with that what happens in because I was in corporate America with a marketing and advertising executive God comes and says hey guess what you know anywhere i'm doing this anymore.

38
00:05:34.890 --> 00:05:40.860
Eddit: I got something else for you i'm like, no, no, no, no, that wasn't part of the deal and bookies close to you, but you know I don't.

39
00:05:41.310 --> 00:05:51.570
Eddit: What is this about Well he led me into the Ministry of Christian counseling and I was about 12 years ago and I went back to school got my bathroom.

40
00:05:52.170 --> 00:06:07.530
Eddit: did all the work I needed to do for the state, and then the rest is history, he has blessed our ministry beyond anything I could ever imagine is so wonderful it amazing because I get to see daughter work every day.

41
00:06:09.450 --> 00:06:24.480
Karen Potter: What an amazing story oh my gosh isn't it great how God just you know you're doing your thing and then he's like no something different, I think all of us kind of have that that same story of how you know, especially for me how I came to covenant eyes, like it's just amazing so.

42
00:06:24.870 --> 00:06:30.420
Karen Potter: With that let's jump into today's conversation a little bit, I can see that i'm.

43
00:06:31.860 --> 00:06:37.530
Karen Potter: whoops we're gonna have to cut that part I read your part Brendan sorry cut okay restart.

44
00:06:39.060 --> 00:06:40.170
Karen Potter: God granted your turn.

45
00:06:42.540 --> 00:06:48.060
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah well um I have down that we just want to start with the two reasons, if you want to ask that one Karen.

46
00:06:48.330 --> 00:06:53.190
Karen Potter: Oh yep I didn't see that on there okay sorry about that okay TIM restart right here.

47
00:06:54.750 --> 00:06:57.570
Karen Potter: Let me just get this up okay let's begin with a brief.

48
00:06:57.600 --> 00:06:59.880
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: overview of what the two reasons.

49
00:06:59.880 --> 00:07:01.950
Karen Potter: Are that we struggle with pornography.

50
00:07:02.970 --> 00:07:04.530
Eddit: yeah basically Karen.

51
00:07:05.280 --> 00:07:06.330
Eddit: What I believe.

52
00:07:06.420 --> 00:07:19.620
Eddit: Is that, first and foremost, it is unresolved childhood pain point, these are scars that we carry with us, whether it be from actual trauma and or neglect.

53
00:07:20.010 --> 00:07:25.110
Eddit: That have never really been resolved at what we've done for the most part, if we press.

54
00:07:25.920 --> 00:07:39.840
Eddit: The pain point that we have, we were not really even aware that they exist, however, they become activated by daily occurrences that happened in our life and, therefore, increasing our.

55
00:07:40.350 --> 00:07:53.910
Eddit: level of discomfort and the second point that you know, I believe, is the reason why we struggle with sexual addiction it because we don't know how to sit with emotional distress.

56
00:07:54.480 --> 00:08:12.180
Eddit: No one ever taught us any and all addictions is anyone who has an addiction is going to struggle to sit with emotional pain, because I am if you will have that emotional development which you could sit your distress.

57
00:08:12.810 --> 00:08:22.080
Eddit: You can then sort through it and become rational about it and then make healthy decisions well anyone who deal with addiction.

58
00:08:22.620 --> 00:08:40.770
Eddit: They don't make healthy decisions as if all start with that inability to sit with that emotional distress and what they do, because they can't sit with that they've run and where do they run they want to, whatever their addiction is inescapable we're talking about today is sex.

59
00:08:42.660 --> 00:08:47.640
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah I can see a lot of that play out in my own life as you describe those things and walk through.

60
00:08:47.970 --> 00:08:54.090
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: You know, one of the things I think about you talked about childhood pain points you know when I was working through my own struggle with pornography eddie.

61
00:08:54.570 --> 00:09:07.320
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: I can see that in my examination of my family of origin, I had a lot of unresolved things and so i'm curious How do people go about identifying those unresolved childhood pain points you mentioned.

62
00:09:07.650 --> 00:09:16.170
Eddit: that's a great question brad did it what we do, usually it or child model what i've done is i've like dead up by nine.

63
00:09:16.680 --> 00:09:30.450
Eddit: Nine reason why men abuse, sex, but I say man, even though I know women also struggle, because I work with men, so I have people to forgive me, when I used to go pro doubt he he he do or him.

64
00:09:30.810 --> 00:09:39.690
Eddit: But basically, what or nine reeves and said, if you put I came across in my work in my studies in my research of working with my clients.

65
00:09:41.010 --> 00:09:58.170
Eddit: And with those nine reasons I turned them into children nine inner children, and the reason I did that was because I also believe that what are the biggest deterrent for getting someone to learn how to manage their addiction is shame.

66
00:09:59.250 --> 00:10:17.460
Eddit: Shame is a stumbling block I major stumbling block, so what I did was, and it was not my original idea, it was something somebody developed 25 years ago if I externalize the addiction, so therefore my clients are not a sex addict.

67
00:10:18.780 --> 00:10:22.200
Eddit: My clients are a Prince of the king.

68
00:10:23.460 --> 00:10:37.560
Eddit: The sex addiction issue live with our inner child who houses, all of the pain point that we have and what was so incredible when I first launched it and introduced it to my.

69
00:10:38.280 --> 00:10:47.070
Eddit: client it with just you could see the sense of relief that they had that was like oh my gosh you know what I can do that.

70
00:10:47.430 --> 00:11:00.360
Eddit: I can help this kid I can nurture him I can help you walk through all of this, and because now what we've done if I externalise you that crippling shame that they deal with.

71
00:11:00.870 --> 00:11:10.920
Eddit: So that part of what we do we go in and we look at each of the nine children, for example, there is the need for affirmation the.

72
00:11:12.180 --> 00:11:23.670
Eddit: Need for control the unnoticed child the entitled kid the early sexually stimulated and abused child this child there's nine different.

73
00:11:25.530 --> 00:11:32.430
Eddit: trauma traumas or neglect that these kids deal with, and so the client go in a book out what the background.

74
00:11:32.730 --> 00:11:38.760
Eddit: For each of these kids What would the environment they were raised in what were some of the things they may have gone through.

75
00:11:39.090 --> 00:11:50.220
Eddit: That led to them developing maybe Baptist you know i'm not noticed I made visible the New York, the negative narrative they develop.

76
00:11:50.760 --> 00:11:58.620
Eddit: And then, what they do to go through the everyday pick out the ones that resonate with them and but that's not the most important part of all of this.

77
00:11:59.100 --> 00:12:04.200
Eddit: Because he after they pick the kids and they can pick anywhere they usually get anywhere from four to six.

78
00:12:04.860 --> 00:12:17.940
Eddit: But what's really important is what are the core emotional triggers that activate that child, so therefore again the idea of the child, you doesn't feel notice, well, I feel invisible.

79
00:12:18.690 --> 00:12:40.680
Eddit: You know I don't matter so now any event that happened in their lives today that they get the message, or the idea you don't matter and, again, probably not even what really happened their inner child becomes activated and now they're there desire to want to what all intensifies.

80
00:12:43.860 --> 00:12:46.380
Karen Potter: that's really interesting I you know and it kind of.

81
00:12:47.190 --> 00:12:51.720
Karen Potter: It just kind of makes me think about you know when you're trying to address really tough issues like addiction.

82
00:12:51.930 --> 00:12:58.920
Karen Potter: Whether it's pornography addiction or another type kind of setting that aside, I like how you use that child kind of model because.

83
00:12:59.220 --> 00:13:06.060
Karen Potter: it's like it sets it aside so that you're not labeling yourself like I am the sexually addicted person it's like.

84
00:13:06.420 --> 00:13:15.090
Karen Potter: This part is the sexually addicted you know this child this whatever you know, and so, then you can address it a little differently, because shane is just a dirty.

85
00:13:15.420 --> 00:13:27.060
Karen Potter: horrible hefty wave that we carry around and once we address that and we don't let that burden us were able to find some freedom and we're able to address those top top belief in my life that's how it's.

86
00:13:27.060 --> 00:13:29.730
Eddit: Working and part of that Karen you need to.

87
00:13:30.210 --> 00:13:33.360
Eddit: educate people that what their problem is.

88
00:13:34.470 --> 00:13:35.820
Eddit: They have an addictive brain.

89
00:13:36.990 --> 00:13:47.280
Eddit: We have an addictive brain that why because we can't sit with our pain, so therefore we need to wind up going to get something to soothe ourselves.

90
00:13:47.760 --> 00:13:54.360
Eddit: Whether its food and many people deal with a sexual addiction also deal with other types of addictive behavior to.

91
00:13:54.690 --> 00:14:06.510
Eddit: UK actually the younger ones now we're also dealing with the video game addiction so on top of the sexual addiction so i'm have a food problem with that others have alcohol drug too.

92
00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:16.110
Eddit: Many things that you can think about, but all go back to that inability to fit What did you dress that it caused by the unresolved childhood big one.

93
00:14:18.210 --> 00:14:29.310
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: So, how does one work through that portion of it, the emotional distress and being able to learn to sit with that and process those emotions.

94
00:14:29.580 --> 00:14:33.930
Eddit: That brad, and that is a big.

95
00:14:33.960 --> 00:14:34.560
Eddit: hurdle.

96
00:14:34.590 --> 00:14:46.080
Eddit: For both people because people come into my office and you know what I usually do after maybe a second, third session, I think, no matter what do I didn't want to sit here for a few minutes, I just want to sit.

97
00:14:47.130 --> 00:14:59.760
Eddit: They go out of their mind you could see the light bouncing up and down, you can see, the fact that we're looking all over you're looking at their watch they can't just sit.

98
00:15:00.270 --> 00:15:14.550
Eddit: So I have to teach them it's okay to just be still and and when we do that, then what we do if there's a six step process of the inner child.

99
00:15:15.510 --> 00:15:25.050
Eddit: program but what you're talking about here we go to step four, and that is looking at what I feel versus what is real.

100
00:15:25.740 --> 00:15:36.690
Eddit: And, in most cases, what you feel versus what is real are two very different thing what I feel Okay, driven by emotions.

101
00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:46.830
Eddit: And, in many cases for someone who has an addiction their adolescent emotions okay they're not very rational enough very well thought out.

102
00:15:47.370 --> 00:16:02.100
Eddit: So what we need to do is get them to slow everything down of that the one thing I tried to drill into my client constantly you need to slow down, especially when you start to feel.

103
00:16:03.180 --> 00:16:24.390
Eddit: that little bit of discomfort in your life take a moment what are you feeling go through that you don't want, I feel I feel like i've been neglected, I feel like I don't really matter right now I feel like nobody really cares okay fine sit with that for a moment, feel it, but now let's.

104
00:16:25.920 --> 00:16:36.360
Eddit: move away from the adolescents, taking into the inner child and let go to the adult or the wife mine at it is okay what's really happening.

105
00:16:36.900 --> 00:16:51.420
Eddit: And then we sit there and we evaluate at we look at the circumstances for what they could be because many times again what i'm feeling does not accurately portray what has happened.

106
00:16:52.170 --> 00:17:02.640
Eddit: And if I can doubt rationalize my emotions, I definitely have slowed everything down at their for now I can most likely make a healthy decision.

107
00:17:05.400 --> 00:17:14.370
Karen Potter: Dr eddie I am so curious as to you know, in a world where it's instant gratification non stop you know, and especially for younger people, but I.

108
00:17:14.700 --> 00:17:18.930
Karen Potter: would say that US older people are probably in that boat as well early stay I am.

109
00:17:19.320 --> 00:17:28.320
Karen Potter: i'm you know we just can't sit like how that has got to be something you must work with your clients on a regular basis, because as a society, we are not good.

110
00:17:28.710 --> 00:17:42.360
Karen Potter: At sitting still or being silent or or feeling emotion, I mean when we get bored what do we immediately do we turn on netflix or we get on our phone and go to instagram or you know Facebook, or whatever it is um so just you know, can you speak to that a little bit of.

111
00:17:42.750 --> 00:17:44.910
Karen Potter: Our technology is really like impacted this.

112
00:17:45.870 --> 00:17:46.440
Eddit: It is.

113
00:17:46.500 --> 00:17:47.700
Eddit: It is made.

114
00:17:48.420 --> 00:17:55.710
Eddit: Our lives changed tremendously okay and you're talking to a guy who I grew up there was no Internet.

115
00:17:56.190 --> 00:18:00.570
Eddit: I grew up your cable TV just came in, when I was like 16 years old.

116
00:18:00.930 --> 00:18:08.040
Eddit: I mean we didn't have cell phone when we didn't even have answering machines, at one time, yet call somebody you got them or you didn't get them.

117
00:18:08.340 --> 00:18:29.130
Eddit: And you did when it was all snail mail there was nothing else Okay, it was a very different type of life and, yes, technology has changed all of that, but when we're looking to break free of art addictive behaviors, we need to be open to changing everything.

118
00:18:30.150 --> 00:18:43.950
Eddit: Everything is about the trip formation of the heart and with that calm new behavior pattern, and therefore it again what what the scripture tells us to be still.

119
00:18:44.610 --> 00:18:55.590
Eddit: Why do I want to be still because, by being still, it gives me an opportunity to wind up hearing and understanding what God wants for me and my life.

120
00:18:56.010 --> 00:19:10.140
Eddit: direction I should be taking, we need to learn to discern discern without a word everybody throws out there anymore, because you're too reactive, but what we do so therefore I again the idea of.

121
00:19:10.650 --> 00:19:20.100
Eddit: We need to make the commitment to change, and what that go compared to a lot of times is okay, you know what let me.

122
00:19:20.790 --> 00:19:30.150
Eddit: Let me slow things down at your maybe what I could do is just start off with a we kind of put on my headphones and i've listened to something.

123
00:19:30.630 --> 00:19:42.540
Eddit: very quiet kind of music nothing loud oh wrapped under the very quiet music again to be able to sit for five minutes and it moved to Ken.

124
00:19:43.320 --> 00:19:49.890
Eddit: who moved to 15 if you get to 15 that's good oh good you're gone don't worry, you can go ahead, go back and do what you're doing.

125
00:19:50.250 --> 00:19:55.410
Eddit: But we need to be able to take that time but, more importantly, we need to be able to stop.

126
00:19:55.920 --> 00:20:09.630
Eddit: When we're starting to feel our self destruct i'm sure you guys heard about the book, you know the body keeps store right, what does it talk about it talks about the fact that our body if we listen to it.

127
00:20:10.590 --> 00:20:20.520
Eddit: is a wonderful guy that can keep us grounded and keep us from being reactive at, but more so become responsive.

128
00:20:22.890 --> 00:20:32.940
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: That is so awesome man I love the fact that you brought up you know, listening to the voice of the Lord there's a friend of mine who had a friend who he was.

129
00:20:33.360 --> 00:20:44.700
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: going around and he had this is either the five or the seven minute challenge, and the challenge was, I challenge you to sit in silence for five to seven minutes.

130
00:20:45.390 --> 00:20:55.800
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: put away your phone put away everything just try to shut off your mind and he said the encounters people were having were quite incredible because they were.

131
00:20:56.310 --> 00:21:08.370
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: In a place to be able to receive the the voice of the Lord, and so I just love what you're talking about with that and I wonder if you can just speak to for our church leaders are and.

132
00:21:08.880 --> 00:21:15.210
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: Those who you know, maybe have men's ministry groups different stuff like that, if you can speak to them about.

133
00:21:15.600 --> 00:21:27.780
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: You know the importance of being able to address the two things that we've talked about today, the the childhood pain points and the ability to process that emotional stress and struggle.

134
00:21:28.740 --> 00:21:44.940
Eddit: i'm so glad you brought that up such a critical issue and i'm sure you're going to have many people on your podcast for months and years to come, that are going to be parroting what i'm about to say at that is our churches need to step up.

135
00:21:45.990 --> 00:22:04.560
Eddit: All right, the problem is you guys well, though, is that pornography impact to believers and the same level that it does non believers look at the numbers are about the same that we look at those who are struggling and if there's too many.

136
00:22:05.700 --> 00:22:09.000
Eddit: Too many pastors in our church that are at your assignment.

137
00:22:10.170 --> 00:22:12.870
Eddit: So i'm going to say something that's going to be incredibly.

138
00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:15.120
Eddit: controversial.

139
00:22:16.530 --> 00:22:23.220
Eddit: Part of the reason I think some are drunk are silent, because I think there are many who struggle.

140
00:22:24.510 --> 00:22:38.550
Eddit: I think they struggle in fact I know they struggle, because I have worked with many pastors over the years and, with that comes their own shame because you're one I should know better.

141
00:22:39.450 --> 00:22:55.110
Eddit: I booked to be different to be set apart, and I say to them, I know you just demand, like all of us Okay, yes, yes, you you you're more perhaps in tune and being able to hear God.

142
00:22:55.680 --> 00:23:05.490
Eddit: And he gives you the word to give you the wisdom to be able to communicate messages that impact, all of us at a wonderful way I can but you still get the man.

143
00:23:06.120 --> 00:23:17.610
Eddit: That here, but I have your weaknesses, but I have your fault, so therefore you have to address them the same way, anyone else does so, I think that part of the reason but.

144
00:23:18.150 --> 00:23:28.470
Eddit: To answer your question it that the church does need to be very active men's groups also Do you know what, if you look at it alcohol drug.

145
00:23:29.070 --> 00:23:37.680
Eddit: Food you know they all have a little bit of a stigma to them, but nothing has the stigma that affects addiction as.

146
00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:50.520
Eddit: I be, because then people are looking at you like Oh, what have you been doing what have you been up to you, are you safe to be around me are safe, to be around my wife, you know it.

147
00:23:51.180 --> 00:24:03.060
Eddit: All into that depth and get many to be a guide for saying this are also God who's struggling himself, so the church have to step up, they have to understand, this is an epidemic.

148
00:24:04.470 --> 00:24:14.790
Eddit: If you're going to get worse because the last two generations have grown up with Internet you know porn is readily available, we are teaching.

149
00:24:15.360 --> 00:24:34.680
Eddit: little boys, it is okay to objectify little girls, but worse yet and Karen you really I think really appreciate it we're teaching little girls that it's okay to be objective by that is horrendous absolutely horrendous the church have to step up.

150
00:24:35.010 --> 00:24:36.420
Eddit: Parents have to step up.

151
00:24:37.500 --> 00:24:56.100
Eddit: and schools have to step up, we all have a say and all of this because, if not we're going to lose a generation of people who have who were to grow up and they're going to be emotionally undeveloped and we are going to see chaos like we've never seen before, when it comes to relationships.

152
00:24:57.120 --> 00:24:57.600
Karen Potter: So.

153
00:24:57.900 --> 00:24:59.250
Eddit: Step off my soapbox now.

154
00:24:59.370 --> 00:25:09.630
Karen Potter: Oh no That was a great soapbox to be on so absolutely great information there, and you know covenant eyes, we strongly believe that pastors and leaders, you know.

155
00:25:10.050 --> 00:25:16.200
Karen Potter: It really is that important you've got to address this issue, you know we like to call it the elephant in the room, I you know it's.

156
00:25:16.590 --> 00:25:19.950
Karen Potter: The thing everybody knows, is there, and nobody wants to talk about but.

157
00:25:20.190 --> 00:25:33.060
Karen Potter: We know the world is going to talk about it, so if we don't fill that void somebody else will instagram will snapchat will tick tock will you know porn hub will, so we have to address this issue, it is just you know, important.

158
00:25:33.300 --> 00:25:35.940
Eddit: At that time I appreciate, I appreciate you guys and the work.

159
00:25:35.940 --> 00:25:36.900
Eddit: you're doing.

160
00:25:37.740 --> 00:25:50.280
Eddit: Covenant eyes, all together, but even with the podcast you're getting the word out there you're giving people an opportunity of a place that they can go for answer, they can go for real help I went on.

161
00:25:50.970 --> 00:26:00.390
Eddit: Another redick person i've actually never really been on it, but I went out in a couple of days ago, like trying to do some research for a book, so I went on a couple sites that were sex addiction.

162
00:26:00.840 --> 00:26:14.250
Eddit: And I was just flabbergasted at the number of people on that site, both men and women that were so filled with self loathing and were like have that mindset of.

163
00:26:14.700 --> 00:26:24.870
Eddit: I don't know what to do, I have no idea how to get rid of this, I tried, I tried and therefore you have to, we have to make sure that we continue that message.

164
00:26:25.170 --> 00:26:40.110
Eddit: And it has to be brought it has to be loud and you know what if somebody doesn't like it and they're feeling, you know embarrassed by it, or whatever sorry apply I do in that to you, but you know what we're going to be saving people by reaching out that way.

165
00:26:40.890 --> 00:26:49.200
Karen Potter: You bring up such a good point, like the world is talking about this in ways that and especially the younger generation they're not ashamed to talk about these topics.

166
00:26:49.500 --> 00:26:57.390
Karen Potter: But the problem is, is that the church isn't there to provide answers and so they're seeking those answers in places like reddit and communities on there.

167
00:26:57.570 --> 00:27:03.030
Karen Potter: And sometimes the advice is good and sometimes it's not, and this is an opportunity for Christians.

168
00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:13.920
Karen Potter: To engage you know, with people I mean this is a great way to reach out into our communities and offer wisdom and advice and we might not have all the answers, but we can point them to people like yourself.

169
00:27:14.220 --> 00:27:21.660
Karen Potter: and other organizations that have programs that can help people get the treatment and the counseling and the tools and resources they need to be successful.

170
00:27:22.650 --> 00:27:34.050
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: I think that brings up a good point too, so if any of our listeners, and he wanted to learn more about what we've talked about, or maybe even check out some of your books, what can they do to get in touch with all the.

171
00:27:35.040 --> 00:27:41.340
Eddit: Different couple places one they can go to you if they want to talk about what we were talking about before the two driver.

172
00:27:41.850 --> 00:27:48.510
Eddit: The you know unresolved emotional pain point childhood pain point and it ability to sit with emotional distress.

173
00:27:48.810 --> 00:27:57.540
Eddit: That found in my book going deeper how the inner child impact your sexual addiction and I have a website it's www.

174
00:27:57.810 --> 00:28:12.030
Eddit: Inner child dash sex addiction COM so again inner child death sex addiction calm and there, there are a bunch of resources that are on there and there's actually even for those people who will struggle to.

175
00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:25.110
Eddit: perhaps be able to afford counseling Okay, thank you, with someone to certify, it is the area I could I create created a 1212 part program or an hour each and they walk you.

176
00:28:25.890 --> 00:28:38.490
Eddit: Through the entire inner child process, it is like $340 just like what would cost you for less than to visit us at the other book that's out now why men struggle to love.

177
00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:56.460
Eddit: Overcoming relational blind up and people can find out more about that they go to www struggling men.org again that book is more about what we do after we've learned to control and manage our sex addiction.

178
00:28:56.760 --> 00:28:57.960
Eddit: Give a lot more that needs.

179
00:28:58.020 --> 00:29:09.780
Eddit: To be done, we have to do to transformation of the art and, therefore, those who are the 14 blind spots are Those are the things that prevent men from having very good and successful relationships.

180
00:29:11.460 --> 00:29:16.800
Karen Potter: And for all of our listeners out there that are panicking to find a pen as they're driving to write down all these.

181
00:29:17.190 --> 00:29:27.780
Karen Potter: websites don't worry, we will put them in the show notes, so when you get home just jump onto your favorite podcast by in just find the show notes will have links to all of Dr ids.

182
00:29:28.260 --> 00:29:42.030
Karen Potter: websites links to his books and so you can get connected and that course sounds fantastic you're right for the price that that courses that's two sessions, so my gosh wouldn't investment into yourself and into your journey, so thank you.

183
00:29:42.600 --> 00:29:43.140
Eddit: Welcome

184
00:29:43.320 --> 00:29:54.690
Karen Potter: We really appreciate this conversation Dr eddie this has been really insightful we're gonna have to have you back because I feel like we just scratched the surface and I would imagine that will get a ton of feedback from pastors and listeners.

185
00:29:55.230 --> 00:30:05.160
Karen Potter: With questions for you, so we'll want to have you back and get some of those in front of you, but from everyone here at covenant eyes, we do want to just kind of bring today's session to a close brandon do you have any.

186
00:30:05.160 --> 00:30:06.870
Karen Potter: Closing statements or anything.

187
00:30:08.100 --> 00:30:17.640
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: yeah I just want to say that if you really enjoying what we're talking about please spread the words make sure you subscribe yourself, so you can get the new episodes each week, but then.

188
00:30:17.910 --> 00:30:27.480
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: spread the word, so you know the messages that we shared here with Dr eddie and all of the other great guests, that we have on can can be spread far and wide.

189
00:30:27.810 --> 00:30:37.020
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And then the other thing is, we do have that free 30 day trial of covenant eyes software we're offering with today's show, so please just visit our website covenant eyes calm.

190
00:30:37.290 --> 00:30:50.550
Brandon.Clark@covenanteyes.com: And then, as I mentioned at the beginning, enter promo code free podcast all one word at the checkout so thank you again, Dr eddie and Thank you everyone for joining us today we'll see you next time on the Covenant eyes church podcast.